This week the guys have special guest Eduardo Martinez on the webinar to talk about stressors and how to use them to launch your business forward, even when they don’t seem positive at the time.

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The HUDDLE is where the flooring industry can get together and talk about everything! Lead by Paul Stuart from Go Carerra who is joined by Daniel and Jose Gonzalez from Preferred Flooring.

https://www.preferredflooringmi.com

https://www.stuartandassociates.com

Pros welcome to the huddle

we come at you every week every Tuesday 3 P.M Central to discuss maintaining

forward progress in your flooring career this week with me as always Mr Daniel

and Jose Gonzalez out of Grand Rapids Michigan what's up what's up guys

USA so we got uh another

individual going to be joining us and uh we'll see we'll see when he chimes in

here but this week's um puddle is really about the stress

level that many installers uh have to go through whether it's you

know stress on finances stress on Project completion is a big one like

getting work getting your work done um how you deal with that stress how you

deal with you know I think it's you know how do you deal with complicated people on job sites

like other trades and and your general contractor your Builder if you're

working in homes how do you deal with the homeowner and the stress level of that so any of these are gonna you know put

you in the state of possibly reacting in a manner that you

do not want to react and so I think it's cool to kind of discuss

this what what do you guys do when you're when you're kind of fighting

against you know sorry I'm getting some feedback yeah I

know it's my fault oh no problem I'm gonna share I'm sharing it on my phone because it's easier than doing it on the

computer and then sometimes the audio just likes to play for no reason oh is that what that was

yeah I'm trying to listen to both conversations I was confused so you know when you're dealing with

these things one of the things that I would like to ask you guys is

what's your Stress Management mechanism I know that sounds fancy but I mean like

what do you do when when you have a a builder or a uh a general contractor or

a homeowner that has maybe unrealistic expectations or maybe they you've made a

promise it didn't quite come through you know how this stuff works yeah yeah you think you're going to get done with the

cafeteria by two o'clock on Tuesday and you're not done until Thursday you know

different things get in the way but you know that stress can be

um almost debilitating sometimes so what do you guys do about you know dealing with these stressors and kind of you

know maybe moving forward because you guys been successful you've obviously done that

and manages in in a manner that keeps you up what's up Eduardo

Eduardo sorry I interrupted your thought keep going okay so the question and I'll I'll

restate it so that you can chime in here too we have many stressors as

installation professionals out in the field and what do you do when what's

your what's your way of dealing with really complicated people that like whether it's project schedule or

you know something else many times you're you can be just a um uh sounding

board or or maybe not even that like a a a one of them punch dummies uh for a

superintendent on a job site or something so you know a lot of this is a day by day thing how do you deal with it

and I'll go ahead and start with that because uh that I'm gonna be I'm gonna be very political

about it I'll just let everybody know that I'm gonna you know everyone's gonna approach this differently right but um

you know sometimes you got to be the one under the stress sometimes you got to be the mediator and

um I've been on both sides probably more often than than not on both sides and I think everybody has but

I guess it all depends on the situation and I think uh what's what's been nice

for us and I'm pulling over here guys so that way I can concentrate on this and not worry about the traffic but

um good idea understanding understanding your audience I guess so to speak right like

uh in is one way that I've always approached it I've always tried to

but myself in someone else's shoes and try to understand exactly what they're going through so that way I know how to

react um because when I was younger I was very reactive to the situation instead of uh

being uh proactive I was very reactive I waited till something went wrong and then I just reacted whether it was

accordingly or not it all depends on what side of the coin you're around but uh

that comes with people skills the longer you're in it the more you're doing it the more situations you become familiar

with and you understand how to I don't want to say weave your way in and out of it but you start understanding people

more and start understanding situations um and you start putting yourself in a position you can read people more but

the stress part of it when it gets put on you you're gonna be reactive or you're going

to take a breath and say okay one step at a time one one word at

a time one scenario at a time and and I've tried to do that for a very long time doesn't always work nope not at all

because they have something going on at home I have something going on at home uh or at

work or at another job site and it's hard to to create divide uh through some of

that but I this is a hard conversation to have because there is no right wrong answer

right there is no uh no exact path for anyone to say this yeah I

mean that's kind of the nature of having humans interacting with humans there's

not a silver bullet to each one what's your what's your take uh Eduardo

and then we'll jump over to Daniel okay so those who personally know me

um I'm kind of stoic so like a lot of time it looks like I'm in a good mood no matter what's going on uh I have that

Hakuna Matata mentality the uh it is what it is I can correct my mistakes but

I can't correct an action so a lot of times just communication like Jose said and it takes practice takes a lot of

practice because I thought I had a problem but it just turns out I had no social skills but I've been working on

it I've been tying adults and uh that's as I've been improving a

lot on it but people love that when you know they don't just like oh thank God people like it when you admit that you

made a mistake and you're like okay I'm willing to correct this you know and it's better that we take action now

instead of you know avoiding it people hate it when you avoid it and all of a sudden it pops up and it costs them a million dollars so yeah you know

communication and practice and accountability you made a great point there too like if you hold

yourself accountable it makes it easier when it when when you're the one bringing out the stress right and you're

at the cause of it instead of stressing yourself out and saying oh I gotta hurry up and fix this I gotta hide this or I can't say this

holding yourself accountable and bringing it up to the front of the class so to speak uh will help uh bring

Solutions a lot quicker absolutely yeah admitting all a lot of times uh is

a really good way of disarming your the other person like

how much do you want to beat me up right you got to go past just like the other

like if you're dealing with a difficult uh Foreman on a job site

when you admit you're you made a mistake now where do we go from here it like

this disarms the the conversation now they have to want to be a real prick to

just keep on harping on the problem and a lot of times the best response is like I get it man I have I've admitted

I was supposed to be here Saturday whatever the problem right but I was supposed to be here Saturday things came

up I let you know about it but at the end of the day we are where we're at

what what do I need to do to to move this you know move this situation forward so that's a great great deal how

about you Daniel what's your input here communication with everything um like especially first starting out

you don't like to talk to people at least I didn't still kind of don't like to talk to people it comes with uh you

don't like talk to people and you're on a podcast every week whatever I know right dude dude this is a real story

let's listen to what he has to say so you just don't like talking to people and you just like try and tiptoe around

things and then you know people get angry and it's just sometimes you're the

person that's getting angry and it's just communicating this is the the way I feel this is what has to be done and and

stuff like that it's a majority of the time the stresses that I'm thinking about on the job sites were you know

scheduling and us getting in there and people being in the way and all this

stuff right and the only way that they can know about you know the things that are going on is for us to be like hey

you guys want us to do it like this that's going to take twice as long this is why this is why I have to do it this

way and you know before I didn't approach it like that I was just like nope I'm not doing it your way this is

the way I'm gonna do it don't care and you know better to ask for forgiveness than permission and then you get to a

point especially working with the same people over and over again it's like look man like if I don't get this area

at the same time it's not going to get done when you want it done so just communication all around

so you know I heard communication

you know you're dealing with people so admitting mistakes I also there's an

undertone of first principles here so if you can just get it back to like okay

here's why I need to do it because they always want to get their job done and so you're

you're taking it back to like we can mull this over or fight about this but what are we going to do from here to

move it forward or in your in your example there Daniel when

you're you're communicating with them and they may not like that that

result the end of the day look I'm just trying to get your job done in the most

efficient manner and and make your client happy to make you happy with me

at the end of the day that's what I'm trying to do here so because a lot of dealing with the the

attitudes and and and complicated people is about getting them always remember

this is what I always think of is like what do I want out of this situation

like that's not a selfish thing what do I want out of this I want to get the job

done or I want to get through this weekend whatever the the goal is remember your goal and always be aiming

at that and then manage your state manager state is I talked about this in a previous podcast but one of my mentors

Ed mylett talks about this a lot when you're in a certain State uh mental

state is what he's talking about you're you're angry or you're upset about

something or you've had a bad day and you're not necessarily angry but you're depressed or whatever we all have these

human emotions managing those States when you're in a complicated situation

the best way to do that is remember the goal of that conversation if you're

getting if you're dealing with a uh you're behind they're pressing you to work the weekend but you don't want to

work the weekend remember your goal if it's to get the job done and you

still think you can get it done without the weekend then you you you can focus on the right

um piece of communication between you two if that makes any sense so you're not

going down rabbit holes and getting getting this he said she said or or pointing fingers thing you're you're

just working on Solutions that's kind of the goal is when your Solutions yeah

when you're thinking of your your your goals you're just thinking of how do I

provide solutions to get through this situation that's that's what I think of

a lot um and of course you know your guys's comments are great I mean communication

is key in that before it happens is can help out too

right like just understanding the process and understanding like what Daniel said communication if you hit the

beginning of the project beginning of anything you're communicating up front what you're doing is you're leaving alleviating the potential stress that

could happen now some of it you have to adjust to on the Fly you got to adjust expectations

yes some of that you you you're never going to be 100 stress-free out of anything right like it could be

something super simple but it causes stress on somebody um but but

being at the Forefront being very honest and and saying this is the scenario this

is where I'm at these are my steps through this uh process uh and if

something happens between one of those steps it can throw me off and throw your schedule off and and and that does

great communication up front uh it relieves a lot of stress on the back end

yeah what's your what's your thoughts there Eduardo um I I I went to uh win-win I always

think about that like that was the fundamentals that I'm thinking about when it comes to any kind of project like you're like yeah I'm gonna take the

weekend off and then the person's like well I'm gonna lose my job my Monday if it's not done so like that's not a win-win but you know maybe he can take

you out to eat and you know buy you some tools or something try and bribe you up but a lot of my my perspective on it is

it's just stress is good but it's it's just such a big causer of like health issues like there's like 70 80 percent

of health issues are caused by stress so you know stress is worrying about what you cannot control at that moment or

what you cannot change at that moment so it's very important that you do manage it somehow because you don't want to end up getting sick people who are stressed

out a lot get sick a lot you know they get heart disease especially us men we end up getting heart disease and strokes

and so I you know I'm not gonna live forever but I'm gonna try yeah carry

some Tylenol for the headaches Mario Fernandez says uh there's never a

problem only a challenge well you know I think if we're managing

it if we're managing expectations correctly like has kind of been a theme

here and then like Eduardo said you know the

stress is there's a reason it's called Stress Management

it's because it's always present there's some level of it you know I adopted three kids not too long ago

that's plenty of stress to manage you know what I mean the the the the point here is that you

do have to manage it and sometimes that's about expectation the other part is like you said

coming coming across with solutions to the problem and I love the win-win

because like you said the store wants you to maybe the dealer you're working with or the contractor

the flooring company you're working with once you need you to work the weekend you don't want to

that's not a win-win how do you create a win-win well multiple times I've you

know given gift cards or uh enticed a subcontractor to work through the

weekend to get something done um and then that seems to alleviate a

little bit of stress if the if the reward's high enough a lot of sometimes the stress can go away so uh for

flooring companies out there you know there's a lot of one thing I don't believe in is the

office never work in a weekend and then always requiring the field to work the

weekends like that's not how we operate I can tell you that like we have guys you can go to my office any given

weekend and catch two or three cars out there managers work in the job with the

crew not on the job site but getting the materials or making sure that they're taken care of or being there for when

they have questions there's just you can't have that separation I believe

installers and office are equal from we're all human it's not like someone's

above so I've never you guys built the same way as well yeah I have a hard time going home um after

um like my day is done when we have Crews working nights and sometimes I end up staying in the office until 11 12

o'clock because I just I feel like I need to be at work too because we have guys out there right and and the guys

the guy your guys will appreciate the fact that you are not just a do it you know one of one of the things I don't

think they know that though I don't think they know that that's what I do so they call me and I'm still at the office I don't think they know that I just I do

that for me but they know that over time they know

if you're consistent with it they definitely know I mean there there's there's only so

many times they can show up to the office to grab some material that they forgot to pick up and you're you happen

to be there that you know you know you're right yeah

when you're managing stress you're managing your state that management like Ed teaches to have

a a trigger to pull you out of that state and back into a positive State because you always want to remember what

am I trying to get out of this conversation you know what I mean if you're in a complicated conversation

with somebody what do you what do you need out of it and what do they want out of it and if you can

um steer the conversation to where both people get what they want

maybe it's the gc's getting their job done and you don't you compromise say

look well I've got an installer it's going to work the weekend uh or Saturday but they won't work

Sunday but we'll get to this point and then by Tuesday we'll be done with that area you know that's communication you

guys have talked about it the entire time but not coming off as a put a um like

you're trying to push them off or be a jerk you're trying to help them through the situation and be a problem

solver that always comes off better as well yeah I I agree with that 100 and I think

that that's the difference between the young Jose and older Jose well well

it's treating everything like a partnership right because you like we talked about before you go in here and

your partner is you're trying to you're both your guys's goal is the same it's to get the project done and in order to

do that you got to talk through it and make sure that things are set up in a sequence especially since they don't

know your sequence you have to communicate that to them so that way they can understand all right I didn't

think about it like that let's kind of change gears and it's been like that on you know a couple of these projects

lately where the the GC will give me a call and be like hey I got these guys coming in here and I'm like yeah but

we're supposed to be there that day and they're like well can't you just do this one area and it's like nah man I need this this whole

thing we're self-leveling I can't just do you know small areas at a time I need

everything and then they're like all right let me call them back let me we'll figure this out and it's

it's you know the GC communicating to me and then me communicating back to them that their plan wasn't going to work out

but us coming together and and putting something else together that ends up working out great especially

like when we're working nights and it's like I will wear I would work 60 hours

in four days rather than have the guys work Friday and they're all about that that way they

also don't have to be there on that Friday yeah I want to add to what what Daniel

said too because you just made me realize something um um it's that communication you know they call

and say hey I'm going to have these guys here too and you're like no because this is the process and some of it might just be that they're just not educated they

don't understand the process so I do explain it to them they hold that in and they they lock that in and they start

understanding more of what we have to do and what we have to uh go through and

that helps build a better relationship for the future which in turn causes less stress and

if you were willing to work with them uh they'll know that as long as you don't let them abuse it I think that that

they'll always approach it and then the next time they call they're gonna say instead of say hey I have these people

coming over and they call and say hey here's the scenario what can we do how

can we work together to make this work because these people also need to get in there but they're also on a time crunch

and availability yeah so it is it's like proper planning and communication to

prevent future stress has been everybody here has talked about that yeah but

that's the bottom line like planning properly for your job good communication

about your processes and what you need prevents future stress and then when you

do get into stressful situations a lot I still want to go back to what Eduardo said remember how can you make it a

win-win and that's similar to like keeping goals in your head so

you're wearing the best shirt on the podcast nobody's going to interrupt you you start talking we'll shut up okay now

I I mean I was I wanted to bring up uh when you guys started talking about you know having your team out on the field and you in the office uh it's either

mental capital or physical capital that you're getting paid to expand because this is my first time working in an office and I am I don't know at the end

of the day my brain's fried so when I ride my home my bike home it's like you know rap music and podcasts but

um it's just it is capital like thinking and creating ideas and working with other people is exhausting you know

um so that's pretty important and then the other thing is like you got to steer the conversation when it comes to

getting what you want like Paul said if you're asking the right questions and you know and understanding that and this

is something I just learned voice inflection was a big reason why me and my wife were miscommunicating because I

thought she had a tone but it's just I didn't understand how voice inflection works and now I'm like listening to her

she's a lot nicer that's the same sentences just said in a

different way you know what's funny you talk about voice infliction and that's one thing um that I have that works for me and

against me is everyone says that I'm very soft-spoken right like people who have just me oh you're very soft-spoken

you're very polite but my family they say I'm just an a-hole like my delivery

is dry but I'm just an a-hole and I'm like man like everybody says what am I soft spoken or am I now like you know

so sorry any Monica so I said it like the elementary way there the PG way

um so so the the truth if there is a truth in that is

probably somewhere in between there yeah it is it is and and I guess my facial expressions

give it away and and that's what people who don't know me don't understand my facial expressions but my family 100

they do they have this the eyebrows I have very very expressive with the eyebrowser

Eduardo can you build a little bit of a scenario of a time when you've

really been stressed out and what was the what was the source of that stress

like oh I like it and I think I know it's a good question no I was going to tell Daniel he's

looking healthy so he doesn't look stressed but uh I mean I have it's a long story

but pretty much last year I was pushing something that I didn't believe in anymore I guess it was just my ego for

doing floors for so long but I wasn't happy about it or passionate about it so I started learning because I got

mentorship mentorship is important uh when you realize like oh crap I'm doing this wrong I should probably ask for

help and so the last seven eight or eight months we've been pregnant uh we're having a kid uh I think I closed

on my business I don't know but I sold everything I have a bicycle I have two bicycles and I am happier than ever I'm

cycling work every day but it's that stress that like gets me up and gets me to work and puts

in the effort because it's scary the the reason I bring this up is I'm not sure who did the exact experiment

but they had a mouse in a little tunnel and they would waft the smell of a cat

behind it they had a little spring attached that would measure the weight of the pressure pushing forward well

when they tried that the mouse pushed but then they added some cheese on the other end so Not only was the mouse

running from something it was pushing towards something so it's that's that's kind of a you know over some patient of

stress and like you gotta run faster than that cat towards something that you

want um and that's that's how I'm using stress like I'm running and I'm going in a certain direction and and uh you know

I can pull twice as hard as anybody and you know I added discipline to that and it's been working pretty well

so the want for the the the final outcome has got to outweigh the the

dangers or the stress so to speak of uh that the outcome could potentially bring

towards you yeah so all right so that's the journey man that's the journey right you gotta love the journey

everyone's running from something you know you know maybe I cut off an old lady in traffic and I was like man I

feel bad about that in my life but you know it's it's this that that multiplication that

that leveraging of those stressors the stress is good but also wanting something on top of that so you can't

just be stressed out hiding at home you got to be outside on the Run doing something yeah says he thinks you're

referring to Speedy Gonzalez well it's interesting because that's a

common kind of um I run uh quite a bit and Runners like the

community which I'm not super involved with but they say you know in your in

the back of your mind you're either running towards something or running away from something and it's Unique that

you're running that you're that both are occurring seems to me that when both are occurring

meaning just like your mouse uh example you're running away from something and

running towards something that that could be pretty powerful if you get into stressful situations and

you understand what you're running from and running towards it's like you can move twice as fast you

even said that so is that kind of the idea of the the so like if you have fear

to add the the positive to the thought process in your when

you're managing your state you think like what am I moving towards which is

kind of similar to the goal thing like remember your goals but you also have this thing you're running from so do

when you are kind of stress fleeing stress are you also thinking that like I

need something positive in my Horizon to be running towards or is that

even uh cognizant yeah you are Eduardo okay uh so I wanted to bring that up

it's like when you have nothing to lose that is the best time to just go for it

because you've got nothing like what are they going to take from you like you got nothing so just that is when rich men

are made when they have nothing to lose and Richmond stay Rich by preserving what they made when they when they made

it but you know that's how I feel like like you have to lower your your standard of living cert and and detach

yourself from from these things that we've been we've been raised through America not to be political but through

the American education system to be you know manufacturing people standing in a line Buy credit get in debt get married

Buy College and so you know avoiding that this is seen you know as a stigma

but all these people I know right here are incredibly intelligent and driven and disciplined so you know I think it's

a little bit of everything now too yeah I'm gonna powder this mouse

in this cat thing because the way you said it and what Paul just added to it just made me like like it

just I just blew my own mind in the thought processes the the fear of the cat is that pushing you harder than the

want or need of the cheese like yeah like I guess you could go pretty deep on

this they say in Psychology the fear response will always you always do more

out of fear than you will out of Desire uh Everybody Wants To Be A Millionaire everybody wants like to have nice things

and do these things and you know most people I should say

um but if they got a bison Chase and then they'll they'll get up off their ass and

go do something I mean like you know it's it's always your belief system and that can go super deep but what I

what I think's kind of um really interesting to this is and Daniel

I'd love to like hear your your idea behind this but if

if Eduardo just you know man talking about managing stress from a lifestyle

level he's talking about like lower your stress level over all by not obsessing

over things simplifying your life and living within your means and then you

don't have to you know skip out on dinner one night because you got a car payment or you

know you can't buy your wife or girlfriend something nice because you got you got the mortgage or the rent or

the whatever what's your guys's thought on like overall lifestyle management

living beneath your means whatever that is I mean it's it that's an

individualized comment but yeah what do you think of that approach it is but it

isn't at the same time because we've touched on this in in previous podcasts too where we say you know we pay

ourselves a salary and the the business income is the business

income and our income is is our income and that's how we we kind of treat it and that's because without separating

the two we know far too many people that live above their means because as soon as

that money hits that bank account it's my money and you know got all this money

to go to the casino this weekend but then up next weekend I can't pay my guys sorry guys

so it's that that's you know like he said you don't want to get too

political but it's kind of uh America in a nutshell it's you you gotta have that motivation

to wanna actually do something so you put it in terms of

um like working out a lot of people say well I can't work

out because this is wrong or this is wrong but you know I'm I've been there I

just fell off a ladder earlier and hurt my knee so there goes uh my gym but I

could still go to the gym and work on my upper body right it's it's you gotta look at things in a

different perspective it's not I can't now it's I can't do this it's well now I just gotta to switch my my thinking on

things and then figure out something else that I can do yeah do you guys think that

um stress is compounding

oh yeah absolutely lifestyle stress

and then you get into a situation on a project or out you know a work stress

pretty reasonable to say that if you've managed the other stressors in your life

Financial stress is one of the the greatest um and and hardest on people if you've

managed that correctly are you do you believe you're able to um deal with situational stress better

that's I think that's Hit or Miss I think that's going to be individualized right like some people just don't care about

financial stress because they don't care they just like Let It Go and it doesn't matter though

some of those guys I guess any they just I know some of those people and I'll

tell you that you know being uh on the receding side of them not caring about

their commitments it's not fun because trusts on me but um there's other ways

of dealing with that but as far as the compounding you know like

the older you get I think the easier it is to to handle and to separate to find

separation um you know when I was younger the the the stresses of at home and personal

life were definitely brought to work with me and then you would kind of hold that and there would be triggers all day

that would trigger that feeling and if that that stress would be brought to the surface

um and you might be a little more touchy than normal with with other things with with people in a little more short

um but as you get older you you you're able to I don't want to say suppress it but you're able to separate it right like you worry about it but you know

like like me and me and you work together uh tomorrow all and I'm stressed about something at home

um and you know I go I choose not to talk about it I now I'm able to separate that and we'll have a good day at work

still right but then on my downtime on my brakes I'm going to be thinking about what I have to deal with later so that

way I'm mentally preparing myself for for what's to come at home or

you know it was with life in general and um

against stream on me if I'm not willing to share that with close friends and try to find some kind of Outlet I mean I

know that's hard for some still hard for me but younger uh me would definitely hold on

to that and I would snap on people and be upset and it would definitely compound and then someone like Daniel

would be like hey dude like what's up dude like what's what's wrong I was gonna say something that I

should have said what's wrong with you today like hey you're just like extra today like what's wrong and that's

usually all it takes for someone to say this is what's going on and then you might have a solution or they might be

able to pull you out of out of that dark hole that you're in right now and bring you back and then you just go ah

so you feel a little bit better it sounds like it it does compound to

some extent in my life I I would say yes if I'm as good as I feel like I've

gotten at State Management um they're I mean

I when I was young with my ego and I had

an explosive anger like explosive it was unmanageable

I'm really embarrassed about it as an older um older man now I think two things

happen as you get older you get a little more wiser and you also your ego starts to die a little bit you know your ego

starts to take a second seat to your Ambitions and your your love for other people that gets a little probably

deeper than this conversation but truth is a great way to put it at the end of the day

um ego starts to take about a back seat to other things that become more important and um yeah

I think the older we get the easier it is to empathize with other people so it makes it a lot easier to

to get the attitude out of the way because it's not like you know it's all me this is what I need

all the time it's uh everyone has things going on in their

life and then you have to realize that you're not the only one that's going through some stuff so it's like

you know what what's going on with you at the same time everyone needs someone to talk to well yeah giving a about

other people will help you as well like pouring in other people a little bit

helping other people get through some tough stuff all of a sudden you're like I ain't got it that bad

it could be that guy and you know we touched on Simon sinek uh

a while a while back you know a few episodes and he says something that

really resonates too it's a you go to the library and they have all these

self-help books but they don't have a section that that's help other people

good point for the most part anyway there's probably a few scattered through there

but yeah what do you think Eduardo so I'm gonna start backwards because uh

you just mentioned the self-help and and it's true like uh you're not gonna change somebody who doesn't want to

change when it comes to stress uh to me I see it as pain the only way to grow is through pain and so now it

makes sense like you know the concept of like I can't give these people everything they need because it's not

going to help them grow up as people and that's part of growing up like now that you all have kids I think you all have

kids like you understand what it's like to love somebody else unconditionally

because like man it feels good when my little girl's like whoa shoot you're back home I was like yeah like that's a

good feeling so you know growing up is learning to love others more than yourself

and you know that's part of the process yeah I know that it may seem like

you know stress the topic is is uh this may not apply no this is

exactly what like manages your overall stress level that

leads to the health complications you talked about earlier

it's hard to manage situational stress I guess was my kind of driving Point here

when everything else in your life is chaotic and stressful so work on the things you have control

over so that when situational stress comes in that you a lot of times don't

have control over whether it's car accident or you know you get you get something happens that's

not really great but you got to deal with it um you're more

equipped to deal with it if if you're the rest of your life is not just some stressful mess

and that's Financial relationships business the whole works

so besides learning how to deal with it internally what does everybody do outside of internalizing and expressing

emotions and and asking for help or trying to help others like uh you know

like I used to play ball quite a bit right that was my stress reliever right and then I mean it brought stress too

but but that was my outlet right that was my hobby like what hobbies uh for me

the Hobbies outside of work and outside of your home life um help relieve some of that um uh you

know there was an old comedian who says uh I don't remember who it was but this is a joke from a very long time ago like

oh when I'm stressed out I did I bought a dog so that when I'm stressed out just come home and kick my dog and that joke

is stuck with me for a lot of years and I don't think anybody talks like that anymore but um

like working on the yard like um Sports uh watching my kids play sports that's a

great stress reliever but I get stressed while I'm doing it because I know that the potential you get stressful you get

anxious anxious yes there you go but anxiety is a form of stress as well but stress on

you um but those are well you got your game you got your

positive stressors and your negative stressors right that's what we were talking about earlier whether you're anxious to get to the cheese or fearful

to get away from the cat it's it you you have positive and negative I mean so it

can be a positive thing that is like a stressful thing like good

things can can be stressful doesn't mean that they're all negative and bad it's

just you know overall um the ones that bother us the most are

obviously the the negative sourced stressors

Jocelyn is actually listening and she said

trying to set herself up for everything with nutrition and

putting time in for hobbies sometimes you'll find you can help other people when doing those things and makes you

know you know yourself feel good so by actually relieving your own stress

you can relieve other people's stress as well and I think you would like with my wife I can see that because she goes to

fit body boot camp at 5am and she's been going for years and they got like

this whole thing going and there's people that come up to us you know we'll be we'll go out to dinner somewhere and

they'll be like oh that's you know and Tanya I know you from Fit Body and she's like I've never met that person before

in my life but they'll tell her like your motivation like just seeing you in there every day and her post it's like

she's motivating other people without even knowing it and that's just what she uses to relieve her stress that's

interesting well that's a question you posed Jose so

what what what what what do you do outside uh you know working out I I

personally fasting helps me a lot uh something about me all you know not

eating and my my brain dealing with that keeps it keeps my stress level down a

little bit um and you know I go I enjoy running

um so a lot of times I'm able to deal with that additional stress through physical stress

yeah now I think uh if I chime in real quick uh I think I'm not sure if Draco willing

says it but you know he says slow is smooth and smooth as fast yes you have to slow down and think about it and the

the kind of what I wanted to head toward was the conscientiousness of knowing like everybody here could be anxious

like our hearts beating we don't know I can't feel that but you know you can ask that and the the last thing I want to

talk about is community you need to find your people like there's a group for everything you can think of out there

and when you hang out with them you feel like wow the room is shiny these people get me you know so finding community on

top of whether you find it at the gym or where you defined it at you know in a meeting Hall like you just got to find a

community to hang out with yeah finding Community is a great Point as well as what

you said earlier I mean I have mentors I have some people that I can rely on to

just kind of unload on um so I I think that you know sometimes

that's your wife make sure you know how to do that one right gentlemen uh but

you know having somebody that has your back and really is a cheerleader of you

that's what I've found in like this Journey I've been on for 15 years

of personal development and and improving myself is you know getting around people that

are your cheerleader and are not are not in the background saying oh he's you

know just wants this or you know talking bad or something that truly celebrates

your wins and that a lot of time is a community that you join and you know

if you're in flooring works it's one of the best communities you can be a part of right here

so it is but it is and you you wouldn't know that if you if you don't

start going somewhere and putting yourself in a position to be recognized and not recognition for for what you

feel is a success or what others view as success just recognize as an individual period just

a name a shake someone's hand meet someone new you never know it might be

someone that lives in Kansas that you just you get along with really well and every time you talk it's like you never miss a beat right yeah yeah I think it's

you know a lot of times we we don't think we have much to give as individuals

and we you do you have more than you know sharing your story or talking to somebody just saying some kind stuff

to I don't care if it's a stranger or your wife and make someone else's day and you know

we talk about going to conventions and going to different um you know flooring shows or or shows

in general that's kind of part of it like

getting putting yourself out there a little bit and you do have a lot more to

give than you'll do then you probably give yourself credit for I'm still guilty of that sometimes like

you you have some gifts that other people can can really benefit from if

you'll put yourself out there a little bit um I think that's what you've kind of alluding to there Jose and you know I

got Eduardo at a show I've met you guys at shows I mean like going to and being

part of the installation community that we're all passionate about and also want to improve we we know the faults we've

talked about them on we're in episode what 46 is that right 42 46 46 weeks

straight I've had this podcast right right straight straight

some emergencies and some like one up One technical difficulty week uh but

yeah for the most part yeah um but yeah just being part of the

community that that will celebrate your wins uh and staying away from the toxic

stuff that you you see the toxic you see the good and bad on social media

specifically when you get into the flooring groups and you'll see like the guys that are gonna attack or say

something negative or you know whatever like

they're they're celebrating people's downfall as opposed to celebrating their

their their wins and so find people in your life they're gonna celebrate your wins and be happy

for you and truly be uh like carrying you on to do greater things and and

taking the next step to improve yourself like that like the first time like I we

actually met Eduardo was at surfaces and he actually I think he like Facebook

messaged me or something he's like I have no idea where I am I'm supposed to be over here I was like bro I'll find

you and they'll find him and his wife and like led him to where he was

supposed to be and then brought her back to the pool because we were hanging out at you know having a pool day

that's right we were in Tennessee and I

the first conversation I was supposed to happen like I started talking I was like hey yeah your brother Daniel preferred for it and then Daniel tell me when you

meet Eduardo tell him that I hate him I was like hold on he's like because he because he won the scholarship I was

supposed to uh I was like there's more of them though

yeah I don't think I ever relayed that that message I remember that you you won it right and

then the next year he won it yeah I got skipped over twice I skipped over

twice and then you know what hopefully CJ's listening because I did they were

emailing about you know more classes that are coming up and I was like you know I don't have time right now plus

I'm banking on winning that scholarship [Laughter]

well it's coming out we're nearing our end I I wanted to point out a few kind

of uh Trends in our conversation communication

like bottling stuff up so communicate uh proactive communication

can help with stress keeping it lower communication on expectations

right like if you can't be there seven tell them between seven and seven thirty

so you got some cushion to manage that expectation that's a simple version of it but like so managing those

expectations and communication and then you know

keeping top of mind what what the task at hand is let's say

that it's kind of the goals it's the win-win piece it's it's all that like what's the task at hand and and staying

focused on that um what other kind of Trends you guys recognized in this

conversation any others

pretty much what you just said there I do not agree with that I mean if you ask

me to repeat it I'm going to say in a really really long version um well you know I will add this to it

though um So based on the conversation it will say that it sounds like

fear is the leading cause of success but with the success no matter what the

success is in your mind just be prepared for a little bit of stress and and figure out a way to deal with it so fear

leading cause of success with success you're gonna have stress grow through pain I think Eduardo said

which is the very basic I mean if you work out you can't expect not to be sore

like you're gonna have pain but that's creating the success you want and then you know realize that stress is

compounding right like The more stress you are about one thing

the more you're going to be stressed out about everything so find that root cause and and focus on on one thing at a time so

that way you can start managing stuff and I think a big part of that especially

for me was talking to someone about what I was stressed about and um even you know my wife and I she she

told me before she was like you don't tell me anything and it's like you know what I I have been pretty

closed off and I I'm not sharing it because it it's like

to me you know just winning a project was just winning a project but it's like sometimes you got to celebrate those

small wins and and let people know like we got this one yeah

and you know celebrating the wins

yep anything to close out here and where do I see you taking notes and yeah no I

don't I'm yeah that what I was going to bring up is uh the only time you can be brave is when you're scared so like the

fact that so many people go through their life in fear and don't do anything to change about it you know the frog in

the boat water that's compounding compounding you should realize you're boiling at some point and and just jump

for it and go for it like I mentioned earliestation like if you got nothing to lose then you got nothing to lose so go for

it yeah um Everybody's scared Everybody's scared Everybody's scared that's that new book you gotta write

everybody scared instead of Everybody Poops everybody

well I do like the the fact that you know uh this was on have you guys ever seen

I'll close out try to make this quick so I don't like waste all the time but have you seen

um uh Evan Almighty it's the sequel to Bruce Almighty

yeah so at one point Morgan Freeman who's playing God in that movie is sitting

with Evan's wife and he's been told to build this Ark and and

he he he says something to the extent that do you think when

you pray to God for strength or for something that he just gives that to you

or do you think he gives you a situation to exercise and get it better and so a lot of times

what you perceive is bad is just a way for you to improve and that's that

progress through stress um you know a lot of times whether you're God fearing or not

these situations come up and I thought it was just interesting how that was put like do you think God like

gives you just gives you strength or gives you a situation where you can exercise your

strength and make it stronger yep that's where um

the failure thing comes in right like you can't learn without failing yeah we've said this before like you

know a rocket our most sophisticated uh laser guided Rockets are off course

ninety percent of the time because the failure is what makes them sends them the the the feedback to make it correct

and it's always correcting until it hits its Target

so that's how we can be as humans so I work at the business assistant

center here in Fort Worth it's like a funded by the city but the score office is right here so like all like SBA stuff

is like I I play with their books but they're looking at them but on the board it says fail is the first attempt in

learning so that that really helped me a lot because if you're trying you're gonna fail everybody's gonna fail and

you just try again a different way you know yeah my first heat welded scene wasn't

very good either [Laughter] well guys thanks for the awesome

conversation we have ended or come to the end of our of our uh podcast here so

I want to appreciate Eduardo for I recognize him for coming on and dropping

some stoic knowledge on us thank you sir that was awesome and Daniel Jose thank

you as always you're a staple I truly appreciate you guys we all do I know the

community really enjoys uh you know consuming some of this content so if you're on here

happen to be on YouTube or one of the uh social medias please drop a like you

know watch the videos drop a comment subscribe request everything yeah do it

all wherever you're consuming uh you know let us know what you're thinking uh

it helps us drive further conversation and future conversations to what the community and what the uh audiences is

interested in so and if they got something that they need to talk about let us know bring them on start talking