The Huddle - Episode 93 - Mental Health; The Importance of Taking Care of Your Mind

Today the guys delve into why prioritizing mental health has never been more critical with special guest Thomas Jachulski, LMSW (https://speakeasygr.com). In today's fast-paced world, burnout is becoming increasingly common, underscoring the necessity of taking breaks for personal and family time. We explore the transformative shift in perception towards seeking professional help; talking to a therapist is now viewed as a strength, not a stigma. This episode highlights the available support systems designed to navigate through challenging periods, emphasizing that it's possible to emerge stronger and healthier. Join us as we discuss the vital steps to safeguarding your mental well-being in these demanding times.

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The Huddle was created by Paul Stuart of Stuart & Associates and Go Carrera, alongside Jose and Daniel Gonzalez from Preferred Flooring. Aimed at helping you maintain forward progress in your flooring career, they cover topics from personal and business growth, to installation tips & tricks and everything in-between.

Want to be a guest on The Huddle? Email thehuddleforwardprogress@gmail.com today!

Create your FREE Installer profile at https://gocarrera.com and become part of the future of the industry TODAY!
GET TRAINED! Find a list of training dates here: https://gocarrera.com/resources/training/
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what's up team welcome to the Huddle we your we uh weekly playbook for not only

strategizing on the game but changing it from mastering the fundamentals of the craft to distinguishing ourselves in the

marketplace and all the challenges that come with that we're here to give an installer the give the installer a voice

and ensure that you're equipped with everything you need let's band together and create a new Legacy in flooring this

is where you belong all right team what's up guys what's going

on so we have a uh special guest to today uh Thomas and uh Thomas we're

going to get to some really deep topics today and uh I've been looking forward

to this podcast you know this is about surrounding mental health and the importance of caring for yourself caring

for uh being aware of what emotions you have and and all the stuff that we deal

with um I thought I'd start by uh pointing out maybe a couple of uh stats

um just things that are uh maybe surprising to you um but one of which

was surprising to me when I discovered it is that um com you know construction

is in the top tier uh you know next to mining for the highest suicide rate and

uh I'd love to get your perspective on that and kind of talk about some of these things we're in construction in

the flooring industry whether we're in residential or commercial um and it it struck me that

there's something around the I'd love to get your feedback but

like there's something around the perception of being a construction worker as though it's a second rate type

of of uh career or something and we promote on the Huddle like this is a

great career it's provided me and my friends here uh a great life for our families and uh the the ability to meet

new people and uh discover new things but it's also very very challenging so

without further Ado I'd like to introduce Thomas and I will not butcher your last name I'll let you say that

Thomas uh welcome to the to the Huddle and uh we're happy to have you here could you

tell us a little bit about yourself yeah um well believe it or not

my name is Thomas yahi that's how you say it yski yep um so I've been working in

mental health for approaching 10 years now since graduating from Grand Valley State University um I currently work at

a private practice group called Speak Easy mental wealth which is also in Grand Rapids um right now I work doing

individual therapy oneon-one with a variety of different demographics I work a lot of um work with a lot of people

dealing with just general anxiety and depression to autism spectrum disorders

ADHD a growing number of diagnosed neurod Divergent folks um OCD um and a

lot of different other disorders um previously I used to work at Pine

Christian Mental Health Services where I would deal with a lot more higher Acuity patients so that's you know people have

who have a higher likelihood of being hospitalized or need more intensive treatment programs um and I've also

worked in worked in substance abuse counseling too so I've kind of bounced around in a lot of different strata of

the mental health field what I'm sure you guys have some

some you know experience with this as well but you know I feel like in our industry one of the things that

plagues um a lot of our users uh or a lot of our I'm sorry a lot

of our community is um substance abuse that you just

mentioned um and it's so hard to get away from drug and alcohol

addiction um I've I've had good friends I've got family it's just what what do

you guys in the mental health uh Community do you guys have a a pulse

on what causes people to gravitate towards that is it just a I mean it's

easy to say It's A coping mechanism but what how do you get out of these things

what what kind of advice can you give you know the the audience and and us on

dealing with friends or family that are are struggling or even personally if we're struggling ourselves with this

kind of thing well that that's an issue that's really close to my heart I have many

personal friends that have both worked in your industry and still do and have

had very significant severe I I I hesitate to use that word because any any situation can be significant but

what I'm talking about is chemical dependence on things like heroin definitely alcohol and other substances

too um I I'm watching it happen right now and I'm seeing people who have come

come out on the other side um gotten clean gotten healthy and are successful

um they did not have to get out of this field to get be successful it's not the

work itself as far as the work itself what I understand and as somebody who's you know I can only say I've dabbled

I've done some odd jobs and helped out in things things but for people who do it professionally um some of the

pitfalls I see are you know if they're treating this kind of like an entry level or stepping stone job they're kind

of itinerant as it is and that kind of you know the type of Lifestyle they leave tends to lend itself to be able to

do that um what H I've seen helps is you

need to have a group of people who are there to support you whether that's

joining a 12-step program like a a or na um again not all folks are of religious

bent but a lot of people find a lot of help and support in their Church groups um there's lots of other different types

of groups of different um value sets and you know areas that can be of support

but um it it's connection with other people isolation and feeling like you're

alone and on your own and there's no way out of that I think is one of the biggest factors that contributes to people feeling like they need to fill

that void with something else would you say that um that

um I don't want to put words in your mouth but it almost sounded like not having pride in something that you do

eight to 10 hours a day if we sleep eight eight hours a day and then we work 8 to 10 not having a sense of pride in

that is a is like a starting almost like a a ignition to all

this and then we get isolated and we we continue down that path and some some of the comments have said you know the

physically demanding nature of our of our of our work uh leads to injury which

leads to you know sometimes getting on opioids or or something of that nature

um is that accurate is it is it is it important how important I should say let

me just ask how important is it would you say for uh people to find

pride in in what they do we have was saying that like I I don't I don't look

for enthusiasm in my work I bring my enthusiasm to my work that's that's one of the things we say at one of my

companies it's like you know anyway go ahead I I'm I don't want to ramble

but too [Laughter] late no that sounds 100% spot on because

I mean having a physically demanding job I mean people try to find ways to cope

with it and not everyone is trying to take care of their physical health I mean some people are just really

exhausted from their life situations and the physical aspect of their work that you know they get home and they just

want to decompress and go someplace else other than where they just were um as

far as having a sense of pride in your work I think that has that's a key component to being successful in any

business because if you're just doing some sort of what you think is some sort of menial work for somebody else's dream

and you don't feel like you're building your own dream in any way and maybe your values don't fully match the goal of

that organization you know you're not in it to win it in that sense so you're just kind of passing the time and giving

of your time and your talent and your you know your physical energy and if you don't feel like you're getting enough

back from that then I can see how that would also contribute to feeling kind of isolated and slow SL becoming depleted

and heading towards burnout you know I got something to add to what you just said there too and and this is you know

from the outside looking in is as far as the the values matching it's um and you

know from experience from start to where I am now is it's not necessarily my values didn't

match who I worked for or who I worked with it was that um I didn't want them

to match right like I when I when I look I was an alcoholic when I was

younger I was really mad at one point to the point where I woke up in the morning one day

and my truck was like I had to stop like it was still running my foot was on the brake and I was in drive and then uh but

the it was who I surrounded myself with I wanted to go and do that I wanted to go and have fun I wanted to to have that

problem right because it didn't really cause a problem so when I when I put

myself around people who didn't share the same views and didn't want to have the same fun I didn't want to be around

them they weren't they weren't my people they weren't my crowd um and that's a

that's a hard reality too like you have someone that comes and works with us and we're we're trying to push them to to

success and and you know not that we can only make suggestions right

like hey I quit doing this I have a friend who quit doing that I have a cousin who quit doing that uh or a parent and they found success after this

we can only make suggestions like that we can't control um what people view as

their values or their core values um how how do we how do you approach that without

overstepping I think that's a good question because I mean that's something that I have to deal with is you know I'm

I'm here to you know provide I guess whatever knowledge I have and some level of guidance but I'm not here to push

somebody in such a way that I'm just like so boxing for what you need to do because that doesn't stick when it comes

to me somebody was doing that to me how would I feel I'd be like that's cool man I mean but how like you know you need to

feel some level of connection and what you know when I was talking about some people when we were talking earlier some

people came to mind and you know they used I knew these were good friends good people good-hearted people that want

well for others but when they were put in those kind of situations around other people who were you know quote unquote

on the right path they felt isolated within those groups it's like you'd

bring that guy to a church group and he'd feel out of place around all these other people he felt like he couldn't relate to you know a person who doesn't

typically have especially people who don't often make a lot of social

connections they don't they hear I need to join a group and that's like the they want to run the other way I don't want

to be in group therapy I don't want to go to church I don't believe in that stuff I don't want to go to AA that

stuff's for I don't know what you know it's like it we we have a hard time I

think matching our identity to the group and we grab on to that so much so that we're not willing to say hey maybe I'll

benefit from that even if I'm not like 100% school spirit for that team or group you know yeah I think there's a

huge benefit going maybe I should just try that out even if I don't feel like those are my people but maybe I can find

somebody there who I can you know connect with or or maybe I'll at least try this out for a little bit and see

where it Tak yeah get get comfortable or yeah be comfortable getting uncomfortable and

and that's the same thing right like maybe that goes back to the the old school middle school high school

mentality when you're not part of a group so you don't approach it in that manner and when you do get surrounded by

people like that you're a little out of your element so you don't speak as comfortably as you as you normally would

I don't know I'm just trying to overanalyze that and and I would say that

maybe I've been like that at some point but maybe that's maybe that's the the driving force be behind a lot of people

not um willing to open up or or or seek that type of

assistance well it certainly sounds like isolation is about the

worst like it's like fuel on the fire once you have a problem uh of any

sort so at being I can only imagine it takes a lot

of courage to step out there and um try to connect with people when you're fing

the loneliest already and you're you already have this mechanism where I mean I I was

I quit drinking about seven years ago and I I I drank like nuts um and I liked

it it was awesome but it was terrible for me and it was terrible for my mental

well-being I I didn't hold self in high regard but the truth is is that um you

know without finding I wasn't isolated I never isolated myself and that sounds

like um I've got a picture of a family member who I love very dearly but is fighting with this kind of thing

and it's at its worst when they lock themselves in their um space and don't

leave and four days later emerge um

guilt written and finally wanting help it's like they we always get to a point where we where

we know we don't have another way but man would it be awesome to try to um

find a way to that spot without having to go through the hell it's almost like

um having to get hit rock bottom as I've always heard

um if there's a way to get people to not have to hit rock bottom because it's really hard to

watch and I think um like we I talk a lot about Simon cynic right and there was a a video that I just watched of his

the other day and it said that you know one of his friends was really down and he was like like why didn't you reach

out to me and they were like I did you know several times and he he looked back through his text and all they said was

hey do you want to come over he's like why why didn't you just tell me that you were having issues right and it's like sometimes that's all it takes is is

maybe not them telling them telling you that they they have an issue like that it's you actually being like you know

what I'm not doing anything let me just go over there and and that that was like he said

all it takes is like eight minutes right so they they came up with a a code where he said any time one of them is feeling

like that it's like they just text each other hey do you have eight minutes that way they can spend that time and kind of

unwind with each other you know and something I just thought of when you were saying that um

actually all three of you I feel like you know the re the reality is a person

does want to have to change for themselves but I feel like our society puts the onus on the individual so

heavily um and doesn't do enough self-reflection of what the culture is

giving and providing for these people and putting them in so yes I'm a big

believer in personal responsibility but you know what you just said I think why

aren't we reaching out to people as much you know why why aren't we I feel like a

lot of people feel like they're just kind of on their own and I think maybe some of it has to do with the culture

developed by social media in general we're supposed to be more connected but it allows people to just you know have

this device as like a pacifier in front of them and they they something to hide

behind yeah I call it like a digital fail you you basically just have this and this is now your avatar in the world

and you know we can do that that's cool we can do that but I think we still need to have real organic meaningful

relationships in opportunities to build them that's a great uh point that you

know as a society like we're you know we used to really take

care of one another back in the olden days like we you know kids were raised

by tribes and like there were tribes of people and and uh as you said with

social media we seem more disconnected than connected but does kind of bring the light like you know just um if

somebody reaches out they're probably uh you know void of a code word uh maybe

don't um uh ignore that that could be a call

for for help um you know I guess somebody says walking down the street are you gonna ignore them like go hey

and then walk away not talk to them if it's your friend no you stop and have a conversation with them that wouldn't

happen in real life it's just we get to ignore these little blips of information and text it's very that's interesting

right and like you said you know you have to get comfortable being uncomfortable because for the longest time I was like introvert I didn't want

to talk to anyone and then just um I wasn't on the podcast last week because my family were and I were in Mexico he

was being an introvert he didn't want to talk to us and uh on the plane ride back

um I was talking to one of the guys and my niece looked back at me she was like do you know him I said I was sitting

next to him like just the conversation on the plane you know it it seemed like we've known each other for a while and T

was like oh he makes friends all the time on airplanes now yeah me too because I want the Elbow Room so I got

to befriend the person next to me so that way they oh you're a nice guy you can have the

handle you slly devil you yeah no that's interesting you know the the um this

whole concept almost everything keeps going back in my mind like it's it goes

back to not isolating yourself and not being by your by yourself with your own

thoughts and your own pain and we we all do have like uh tough days we have tough

weeks even but when we let uh friend of mine um I was in his business group ed

mylet talks about letting a moment turn into a like your personality you know

like somebody says something mean to you and all of the sudden you I identifies

that or you internalize that and then before you know it you're that turns into your new personality whether

somebody told you at one time Daniel that you're an introvert and you you adopted that or if you actually were

just born that way I mean seriously at the end of the day it's it's when we

constrict away from uh our human nature which is to be you know we're I think

social beings and and and need interaction with other people it's one of the things I love about the podcast I

get to see these guys every week and uh sometimes we don't talk except for on this podcast and so I know you know

being connected that way is is kind of special um outside of

um you know the the substance abuse and addiction um and and just to reiterate

there it it is a lot of information you've provided but

you know support groups connection with others and the fact that we just don't

take if we're not taking pride in what we do or bringing our our happiness with us to our workplace uh and I would

recommend people if they're that unhappy like find find another career even

though I want you in floring uh you know it's not worth your mental uh well-being but some of my um darkest days have been

when I'm just not taking care of myself physically and I'm not I'm not waking up

with any intention I'm just going through the day and taking the whatever

crap gets dropped on me throughout that day is there anything in your opinion to

like this attitude of gratitude as they

say yeah I think it's just an absolute necessary component of being a human I

think the fact that we have the capacity to do something like that is amazing you know but it's I think it's a necessary

reframe because you know when we're going through things like depression or just like monotonous you know life

cycles that seem to kind of be repetitive and we're you know we're getting maybe bored of what we're doing

even though we kind we mostly like it it's supporting us whatever you know and therapists go through that too every I

think lots of fields go through that I don't think any field is immune to it but just

um remembering and make really bringing into balance the idea that there are

ideas and thoughts you have that don't support how you're feeling right now that are facts also it's just when

you're in that mindset it's like you're hyperfocused to only hear the negative it's like it's like when you feel all

you hear on the news is bad news you know well I mean there's some good things there but they're not either not

reporting them or they just like they sound like blips on the radar because you know the negativity is almost like

it only takes on this quality of its own sensationalism so I mean don't get me

wrong I'm not trying to say there aren't people in situations where no your situation is bad like what you're

feeling is real you know you're feeling that for a reason but you know you do

have to look at what is the whole situation if in fact there's way more problematic with you know your the inner

workings of your career or you know what's going on in your family Dynamic how much time you have to take care of

yourself that is non-existent you need to start making some changes and finding incremental feasible changes where you

can you know I would never ask somebody you know you know well you just need to

have a complete upheaval of everything you do and reinvent your whole life I mean most people don't need to do that I

mean there's other ways to Pivot and there's probably other things you can do to support your yourself and your um

your mental health and your emotional health that would allow you to keep doing what you're doing because you know

I had one friend the other day who's you know he was telling me that his his job is just wearing on him he's feeling

depressed you know for lack of a better term it's just kind of soul sucking you know he got a couple other things right

um together in his life and you know a week later he was talking about staying there even longer with other

opportunities and I said what's the wait you you were ready to run the other way

100 miles an hour and now this week you're all right you know and I think part of it was that he you know the

other things going on in our lives like relationship stress there's family stuff that can change the lens at which we're

looking at our work that we do too so some days we just got that energy we're in a good mood we're all happy doing the

work and then other days we just don't it's just not the day and we wish we would have stayed in bed but you know I

think you know if you're feeling that long term then it would behoove you to start taking

some steps towards seeing what you can do about it whether that is reaching out and you know getting yourself set up

with a therapist or counselor um and a lot of times doing that can get you

resources and direction to the other things you need to if you can't if you're having difficulty finding them on

your own in your own life because there's some people who still have a lot of supports in their life but they're

still dealing with those ISS mental health issues like they got all the other stuff they got the whole package

but internally they're still not feeling right so there's probably more to work through you know whether that's trauma

or other issues that are kind of below the surface yeah I totally get that I

because you know myself uh it's it's more socially accepted to to talk to

someone these days which is amazing because that's what needs to happen right you look at before and everyone's

like oh you're talking to someone what's going on with you but now it's like yeah everyone should be really be talking to

someone um I mean a couple years ago I was in it where I I told this guy right

here that I didn't want to be his business partner anymore and I didn't want to be in flooring anymore and I

told my wife I was like I don't want to be with you and it's like it wasn't until I took a step back and actually

realized that I needed to talk to someone to to figure out what I had going on in my life it wasn't anyone

else because our family's a great support system I can talk to you know my

brother about anything I can give my mom a call like everyone is there it's just

it wasn't the person that I needed to talk to I just had to work on it not not

myself but you know with a professional and sometimes that's what you have to do you have to reach out man I I didn't

realize how much I needed it until I actually did it and I've been pretty pretty good ever since and one of the

biggest takeaways especially lately was I I told my wife I said I can actually learn a lot from my daughter um we were

at over near over near Detroit you know a few a few weeks ago a month ago something like that and my truck broke

down wouldn't start so I had to get you know try and fight for a rental vehicle and all this stuff and you know me and

my wife are trying to do all this stuff she's getting the vehicle to and then we go to a restaurant and it's a a

Mongolian Barbecue my daughter got to you know watch them cook her food and stuff and she she's just looked at us

she's said this is the best day and I said you know what we can learn a lot from

you I was gonna say oh go go ahead I was going to say

you could have called up my parents they live over there they could have got you guys a ride her dad was like she called her dad

and he was like I'm I'm heading my down there if you guys don't get a rental car I'll be down there but if you do just

call me back and we ended up getting the last rental car that the last open rental car place

had that's my wife my wife is listening right now here she goes so Thomas I have a question um

piggybacking off of what Daniel had just said um for individuals who might find it hard to reach out

or who might that internally they do have in shoe what are

some what are some ways that someone can reach out for assistance for help

without broadcasting it so so that way they can kind of keep it under wraps um

you know because it's still a good starting point um to to reach out for help what are some some good ways to do

that or go about that okay well um I know that personally

if I'm in crisis I'm not I'm typically not going to spend you know 30 40

minutes trying to find a therapist online and get scheduled two weeks out or whatever it is you know and there's

online platforms and things like that too but what I would say is and this is

It's because I've actually worked in this area to you know we're here in Grand Rapids we are very um support and

mental health program Rich relative to a lot of other areas of the country and a lot of other cities especially in our

area here um I would say you can reach out to your local Community Mental Health um they call it a CMH they all

have different um organizations within their um various counties and typically

they have you know a heline you can call and start getting start talking with somebody immediately and eventually get

connected you know you know within a short period of time actually to some sort of mental health professional or

program nearby that fits with what you're doing um and we have a couple

really great organizations in Grand Rapids where you can actually go for Mental Health Urgent Care um I know when

I was working at Pine Rest and I know they still have that program um you can show up there if you're in crisis and

talk with a counselor immediately and they'll you know walking through those doors doesn't mean that you need to get

you know pack your bags and be gone you know for a week in an impatient program

it could just mean that you need to talk with somebody and then they'll get you set up with Services you know um and

there's a lot of other you know ways to access individual mental health but I

think in those moments like like you said you're trying to keep this you know this information away from

folks that you don't want to have that information you know but you know again

part of getting better I think is being able to talk about those things with your supports in your life too but I

know that some people aren't at that point yet they're at the point where you know it's scary I don't want to I don't

want to have this idea that there might be something wrong with me in a mental way out with my family my friends my you

know my job what is that going to mean are people going to look at me differently you know is does it does it

risk me getting fired will it prevent me from getting jobs Etc all that stuff so

mental health professionals have to follow confidentiality policies it's

it's the it's the law it's the policy um what you talk about with them stays with

them um aside from having to report something like child abuse or if you

know you're a danger to yourself or other people and they need to get you know additional help involved what you

talk about is your business with that professional so you know every County

should have a community mental Healthline and they usually have access to other mental health agencies in the

area and they can help you decide if you're going to need to do something immediately or if you're in a place

where you just need to start seeing a therapist and it's something you can do within the next week or so a lot of a

lot of people uh I think they don't know what's wrong you

know and they just need to talk and that's scary to not know why you're having these feelings and and a lot of

it um you know I've at least for me like

my personality I've been the most miserable when I'm comparing myself to others like literally that's been the uh

one of the igniters for me going into a depressive moment or uh you know even a

few days or being just this overall feeling of unhappiness is and it's so

easy to do with social media where you're comparing your life to this fabricated life online and you know it

is but it's it's just this innate like automatic thing I try to stay off of it

of social media unless I'm using it as a tool for uh you know posting for my

businesses or something um or doing some research or things like that but as a I

used to you know be fairly active on their uh the different platforms and watch but that I was really pretty

miserable and I found you know um that comparing myself and where I'm at in my

life to someone else or something like that is that that's a dangerous uh slope

for me at least at least people like me and I I I don't know if that's just a me thing or if that's uh across the board

but when I start anytime I compare myself to someone else and don't find just a gratitude that I have a great a a

wonderful wife and a a a a a really spectacular life at the end of

the day in my opinion and that's the only thing that matters someone else doesn't need to think that my life is

great but I feel like my life is great and um yeah anyway that danger I just

wrote down one of my notes was the the danger of comparing yourself to

others you know it's funny you say that Paul is a couple of my good friends uh over the past few years have actually

taken a break from social media because things weren't going well at home so

they eliminated that as part of the Cause right because you getting fed all of this propaganda and all of this uh

false sense of uh reality or being of what you're supposed to be what you can

aspire to what you should aspire to and they got rid of that and they were probably the happiest they've ever been

um um and it also put them in a position they actually reached out to people via phone call via text hey what are you

doing this weekend hey I'm gonna come over it's not hey can I come overs hey I'm going to come over I don't have anything to do um yeah and and that

would promote people being surrounding yourself with with people actually helps a lot too I mean the right people right

it's got to be your cow your crowd your people um but start of the social media thing um I like to go to Tik Tock shop

and see what they're selling just so I can be like ah I really that's really cool but I'm not gonna buy that and and then there's

me I actually buy that I just the

um how much of that Thomas is like from a chemical I don't I don't know how how

deep you get into this but like that dopamine hit that we all like get from

being on social media and almost you know I've watched you know some

um YouTube videos like about mental

health and over overstimulation of dopamine and things like that being a

one of the concerns with so much social media is that you get that immediate dopamine hit it's almost like a drug

itself yeah well I mean we we we have a

limited amount of you know dopamine that we can absorb you know in our neurons in

any given time and you know there comes a point where you know when you've been

doing something for example that's been really fun for like a long time there comes a point where you feel like a

little bit cashed out right where it's like it stops feeling as good it's not as exciting it you know and you kind of

go okay I need to go do something else well if we're getting all these little

micro dopamine hits from every single little message stimulus exciting possible on our devices shows we're

watching all the screens we're watching all day long there comes a point where we are a little bit tapped out and when

we're doing that day in day out every day and we're just you know getting ourselves to this point where we don't

even notice it happening anymore you know there is kind of that level of you

know when when you when a stimulus stops having the same effect in Psychology it's called Extinction so it's like when

you dip your toe in a pool of water you know it's cold at first and eventually you get used to it that getting used to

it you also get used to that dopamine hit and then that need for it and then

eventually you do need more of it I mean it's a chemical in your brain that has so many different functions but one of

them is feeling happy um and when you're just triggering that over and over and

over again unnaturally for extended periods of time makes sense why people are getting depressed and finding other

ways to try to make that happen artificially so I really liked what you said you know use this as a tool this is

not your reality this is a way to interact with reality you know it shouldn't be the reality and I think if

you if we start balancing that a little bit more we're going to be in a healthier

Place well I know you have to jump off here in a couple of minutes Thomas I thought um would you you know to the the

bulk of our audiences um guys and and gals out there working uh installing

floors on a daily basis some of them own their own shops and are responsible for other people and there's these various

layers of pressure and daily pressure can you close out with some po like

maybe they're not super depressed but can you close out with some you know

real actionable items on how to deal with that daily pressure of work life

family and um I think that can help us I I would love to hear you know the

positive side how can we get ahead of this thing yeah um I I think you know it

doesn't have to be in its like most things it doesn't have to be in its worst state or most severe state for you

to have to do to do something about it you know you don't have to be you know in the most severe clinical depression

to reach out and you know set yourself up with someone you can talk to it's

once you start doing it it's not not as weird or as scary as people think it is it's a very normal thing it's a very

health building a therapeutic relationship is very healthy um you know

I think finding your version of movement physical exercise something you can do

that naturally causes your body and your brain to release those healthy hormones

and neurotransmitters you got to find your version some people aren't going to go to the gym some people are wrecked

after day of work and they don't really want to do a whole lot of movement any more but you know going and doing some

sort of walking or some sort of light um low impact movement if not you know some

sort of exercise is very helpful um I think we do need to have some sort

of a group or activity or something we do outside of just work and family

pressure too you know I know we feel like we might not have that in our schedule but I think you'd be surprised

what you can fit into schedule even at least an hour a week maybe if you can find an hour a week to do something

different that can have a huge impact and if that happens to be with healthy people who are the types of people

you're trying to Aspire to be like who live you know balanced and fulfilling lives some of that stuff tends to rub

off into your life we need we need more mentors we need more models for what we want to be like we need other we need

people in our Social Circles and friend groups to challenge us a little bit to make us feel a little uncomfortable like

o wow that's really cool what they're doing I don't know if that's something I could do but maybe I could try that you know we we need that healthy pressure

from these from the things in our life so those are the kind of things that are

going to start you know budging those folks into a healthier Zone where they

could maybe have maybe they can see how they can get out of the you know mundane

repetitive depressing you know draining you know experiences and start to see

that there's something on the other side of that yeah and if you're one of the other people that are not necessarily uh

you know struggling with that be that be that other person be that person in the group yeah

be that positive influence for someone else we were talking about social media and stuff and there's a group on

Facebook called mind and body for the flooring trade started by Andy MC Williams and Nate Hall I mean that's a

great Community where we can you know start talking about things like that and I think as a as a any trade in general

we have to start realizing that we always preach we we say all the time have a professional do it you know I'm a

professional you're not so I should be doing it not you and we kind of have to look at that with our mind too like

we're not professionals to to be dealing with the mind there's guys out there that are trained for it you know let's

let's start talking to them and and fixing ourselves you got to talk to the

professional yeah my job is to help people find that and help them get on a

path to be able to do this themselves you know because that's really what it needs to end up in is people finding

their own way to you know help themselves heal yeah well I want to give

you a uh special thank you for joining us today it's such a important topic in

in general um we toss your QR code up here for uh Speak Easy yes and um

hopefully people will uh take advantage of that in in your area and I I will uh

sign off with the fact that you know we all need someone to talk to I I uh I

struggled a lot in the past with well why didn't you know a hundred years ago

people didn't need therapists and blah well it's a lot different world we have a it's so much faster we're so much more

on demand like if you don't get if someone texts you and you don't text

them back in five seconds it's like you know so there's all this demand and there's no wonder we need mental uh

health or we need I mental health we need support in our mental health we need other people and so I applaud you

for getting into that industry and uh all the work and it was interesting to get to know all the different fields you

went you've been through uh particularly I wish you had more time too yeah yeah

I'd love to talk more in the future this was a great opportunity well we'll definitely have you back this

was this was excellent and um having three adopted children of my own and watching them go through foster care and

and different scenarios there's there's uh I got a special heart for that kind of thing so again thanks for all the the

work you do I know it's your job but you must love it and uh it came out in this podcast so Thomas special thank you guys

got anything to say Thomas thank for joining us Thomas appreciate appreciate it man appreciate it as well thank you

well we'll be in touch Thomas because uh we're going to probably uh we're trying to do a uh top a similar topic um around

taking care of yourself uh at least a couple times a year two to three times a year so we'd love to have you back on

and again thank you and enjoy the rest of your day sir you as well all right take care guys thank you

guys well I hope you guys uh enjoyed that uh conversation

um with Thomas and you guys um still

there I think he you got there you go there he goes I hope

you enjoyed the uh conversation there with with Thomas and they he provided a

lot of stuff um I just wanted to he had to go a little bit early but I thought

just recapping what he said that last uh few moments he says and I'll paraphrase but you know be

proactive in finding help don't wait till you're in crisis mode uh you know

we all need it that's one thing I struggled with in the past is the fact that um we we do all need it and uh I

always wonder well like like I said to him a 100 years ago people didn't need it well 100 years ago people didn't have

uh podcast and iPhones and Androids and people a lot l compar

and just all these demands on you so there's no wonder that we're a little bit different of a of a society and need

that support uh he said find ways to be de I I paraphrase this but it sounded

like to me he was saying find ways to be decisive in your exercise like we have

physically challenging jobs a lot of times and the thought of exercising after that

is like GH but even if it is just walk you decided

to do that the day didn't serve it up to you so I just wrote down find a way to be decisive in in exercise uh find a

place to belong yeah uh find a place to belong and sometimes that can be both right

maybe play playing a weekly Golf League or you know exercising with friends or

uh hell knitting club whatever a book club there's all these different ways you can actually um connect with other

people be around people who are a positive influence and then uh I uh

wrote down the Mind and Body in the flooring trade I didn't know about that so I'm glad you brought that up Daniel

but that's the last few uh moments there before Thomas had to run and uh man that

was awesome I got a lot out of that myself and I hope uh I hope the audience did too what do you guys think about um

some of the stuff that he said um like support groups and stuff how can we get

together outside of you know maybe that flooring uh the flooring group that you

mentioned Daniel what do you guys do to uh you guys are involved in softball and stuff and there's Community there that a

lot a lot of Youth Sports for us I think that's everyone in our family like yeah

yeah you you talk to the you know other sports parents and that's what you do you go there you hang out you start

talking to the other parents and I mean just last week when I went to Mexico with my

mom and just hanging out with them unwind intentional time with others God

intentional time off sometimes is you have to kind of plan for that and I think um like I I was talking about

earlier when I was saying you know that to him and and Tanya like I was burned out I really really was burned out and

um you know I had to talk to someone and then I started you know taking more time with Tanya and I just us away from the

kids and I didn't realize how big of an effect that was having on our relationship just you know because I'm

always like let's go do this and bring the kids and just taking time off for for just her and I helped tremendously I

think yeah I guess for me I just love teaching my kids dude I just like

hanging out with my kids and teaching them when I when I can haven't had that that time yet uh or haven't had a lot of

that time recently but I also know that the summer's coming around and um I'm

going to get a lot of that time here coming up I did go out and had BP with my daughters and my son this weekend U

my body didn't want to do it it was kind of chilly kind of cold but my kids wanted to do it they were looking forward to it so I made the time for it

and for those non non sports families BP's batting practice I assume yes

batting practice yeah yeah sorry sorry yeah my girls are excited to start their ball season they actually got practice

tonight so and I'll be leaving here shortly to go and U um accompany them

because my daughter made a comment a comment to me um last year year before

about she was her both my daughters were wrestling practicing wrestling and one of my daughters like I don't want to do

it anymore because Dad Dad doesn't come and watch me that means I'm not any good

man talk about catching the heartstrings and I think I was part of uh um the P or

the with Kyle uh hideen I was I was part of that Mastermind group at that time and I had to tell him like Hey

dude I'm not going to be able to make it today my daughter's got practice uh or I'm gonna be late or you guys G have to

deal with the noise because I I just was I just had to show my face in the window while she was practicing I didn't go in

the room or anything just had to show my presence um and that's important to me have you seen some of those videos on

social media where these kids are just on stage and they're looking around everywhere and just the way that they light up when they see some their

parents there that's I see it with my grand grandkids and then my my oldest uh

well not my old my second to the oldest son he's 14 he he's running track for

the first time this year and he's actually pretty fast I mean he's he's actually really fast pretty surprising

how how well he's doing but when he C comes around the the bend and he just

starts kicking and I'm over there just

yelling and he goes man I came around that bin I heard you up in the stand yelling and I

just so they are there they can hear you they are listening they're watching and

uh he gets a a great amount of I think kids and I get a lot uh of of enjoyment

out of watching them perform and them knowing that we get that gra that that

good feeling out of it too so it's pretty cool

um what's that say having good mental health means you're letting people know early that you are there for them yeah I

think that's important that's the maybe the biggest lesson is like we can get so tied up in our own problems we got to

remember you know helping others is is sometimes the best therapy so being being there for other people um and I

would double down on my uh the comparison thing Ed mlet who's one of my mentors has always said that comparison

is probably the root of many evil it's just the way it's not that you look and

you get jealous it's or you uh you see someone doing something and it doesn't

have to be material it can be that happy life and you fight with your loved one

or it could be you know one of mine is I was not close to my mom I get really

like almost a negative feeling when I see people who are so like you guys

and your mom it's like wow I wish I would have had that or I wish I had uh a

relationship with my mother that was loving and and was was positive that way

and uh you know I just didn't and it is what it is but um I think every

everything's kind of mindset though right because you can look at it like that like I W I wish I could have had that or you can look at it like man that

is awesome that you guys have something that's exactly right and and as you work through the progressions of your

mindset uh it can start in a it's finding that gratitude that's what I've

like don't compare yourself and find gratitude and be happy for other people uh I think someone on here I think it

was Tanya was like said something about like really liking to see other people happy I love seeing other people happy

and it's the only way uh a lot of times that you can get out of that funk and um

but it can also drag you down if you're not in the right uh mindset we were at um my daughter had a skating

party a couple weeks ago and there was a girl she probably like fifth or sixth grade something like that had a shirt on

that said hating me won't make you pretty this is true this is true I like

seeing people happy too um and I mean unless unless we're competing against one another and they're winning then

yeah I don't like seeing that but um I mean that that's just that's also mindset right because you can look at it

and like winning or you can look at it like I gotta I got to be better right gotta it's all how you how you look at

it and how you uh absorb the information I love the fact that that your mind is

always working towards what's the positive angle and um you know I think we all can learn a lot from this and um

this was a awesome podcast um I hope this gets out to a lot of people and um

everybody has the opportunity to a maybe get away from the the stigma of of

getting help or connecting with someone I I know that that's very beneficial um

and then also not being scared to find out the the things that you may think is

wrong with you um it doesn't mean something's wrong with you we're all unique and we have our own uh uh things

that we're fighting with in life uh but it doesn't have to be a negative and you've done a great job in this podcast

Danel bringing up positive angles on things so you know find a way to support

someone else give them some love um get get you know be a little proactive in

your mental health get out there move your body and uh let's let's as an industry improve and uh you know build

like we said in the in our opening build a new Legacy in our industry yeah yeah I would um I would

agree with that I would say um just made me think of this I don't it's not a

saying but um your world does revolve around you regardless of what people say

right so in order for you to have a better world revolve around you if it if

it isn't that that that uh if it is in the shadows then go find a new center

right just shift yourself find a new center so that way you have a different world revolving around

you yeah we all get tied up in our own own perspective for sure um yeah and we

can forget that there there is a big world out there I think that that saying is really about like quit thinking about

yourself so much and uh especially if you're in the habit of either thinking

too great about yourself and you're an egomaniac or if you're thinking too poorly about yourself and you don't

think you're worth the dirt that uh you know gets driven over uh either way

that's probably not the best and so yeah change in your environment there's a lot to that there's I mean this podcast

could go on for five hours with different professionals talking about how your environment affects your your

your mind and your body but really I do like the idea of of both with passion

and enthusiasm uh you know don't you know don't try to find your passion take it

with you in everything you do take your passion with you um we can be passionate

uh about our family and that may be why we're working but trying to find that that why which Simon synic talks about a

lot um finding your why doesn't mean you you have the perfect ideal job um but if

you're doing it for the right reasons it can make it enjoyable um so with that guys I'll sign us out and uh thank you

so much for your input today was awesome man it was one of my favorite episodes today Thomas if you can if you're

listening or if you come yeah thanks again brother yeah thanks again to Thomas for sure and you too Daniel Mr

positive thank you sir thank you Jose and we will talk to you guys uh next

week next [Music] week