The Huddle - Episode 99 - The Psychological Impact of Installer Burnout

In the latest episode of our podcast, "The Psychological Impact of Installer Burnout and Strategies for Self-Care," we delve into the mental effects of burnout on flooring installers and discuss effective self-care strategies with special guests Crystal Sims and Florencio Guilarte. Burnout can lead to significant stress, reduced productivity, and emotional exhaustion. Our discussion focuses on recognizing early signs of burnout and implementing practical steps for mental rejuvenation. Tune in to learn about balancing work demands with personal health, incorporating relaxation techniques, and setting professional boundaries to maintain well-being and enhance job satisfaction.

The Huddle was created by Paul Stuart of Stuart & Associates and Go Carrera, alongside Jose and Daniel Gonzalez from Preferred Flooring. Aimed at helping you maintain forward progress in your flooring career, they cover topics from personal and business growth, to installation tips & tricks and everything in-between.

Want to be a guest on The Huddle? Email thehuddleforwardprogress@gmail.com today!

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https://www.preferredflooringmi.com
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hey what's up every everyone welcome to the Huddle Paul's not here to do his intro again and it messes everyone up

every single time thanks for joining us today we got

uh me Jose and uh some more family members

today we got baby sister everyone knows Crystal Sims and uh most of you might

not know this is Flo his name's florencio but we call him Flo because uh

no one can remember floreno or even say it because they can't roll their RS

that's legit so uh Crystal why don't you go ahead and introduce yourself tell people about

you uh my name is Crystal Sims I work at preferred flooring in Grand

Michigan a little bit about me let's see uh I have three

boys I love self growth and learning a lot

about myself and I'm excited to be here word um you

might so my name is florencio Gil that loud that loud and

uh I work at preferred flooring too been working since I was like 14 years old

just helping out in the summer when I could because that's what we were supposed to do so I learned the trade

back then been getting back into it and finding a little bit of passion in it

but I'd say I'm a man who's always extroverted I

like talking to people like having conversations um I'm really big on music

writing an album this year hopefully I make it out on that yeah that's a little

bit about me I got a son and wife at home yep well she's not a wife

yet girlfriend that's my

girlfriend so today we're g to be talking about uh the psychological impact of installer burnout I think

we've all kind of been there and been through it right at some point in our careers and what what can we do to kind

of mitigate that I mean um what happened the first time you got burned out and I

can kind of kind of lean on you on this one because um so this is not Flo's

first time actually working with us and um he was in the field before he was in

the office and the last time he was here he actually just came up to me and he was like I'm just not feeling it and um

you actually what moved to Iowa shortly after you left here so H how were you feeling when when you were kind of going

through that um I guess I had my mind on everything that I wasn't everything that

I told myself that I was going to do in life and I wasn't doing and it felt like I always had floring to fall back on to

flooring this flooring that flooring's gonna help you do this flooring is gonna help you do that in a sense

it's I just had to get away I had to remove myself from the situation because I was focused on things that I thought

was my future focus on things that uh I thought was going to help me get the life that I desired but at the end of

the day when I moved back from iow it was just like you know that wasn't working out bu

go back to flooring hey what's up Justin how's it going you know I I just think about

it burnout happens like once a month for me just

because it is a trade that I I've had to learn to love had to find the things

that made me want to keep going I guess and honestly I just smoke a lot of marijuana

to drown out the thoughts so I can keep coming to work the next day I think that's called

addiction word word and you know we talked about this

in other episodes too about what people do and then

and I mean marijuana's one of those things right but there's definitely

worse things that you could be doing and you know our trade is riddled with people that are on prescription pills or

get addicted to um I mean heroin other things that that

could be a lot worse and even more addictive and and take you on a path

that is uh could be even worse so I mean detal it it could be worse and it's all

in what else can you do in order to uh mitigate that that burnout baby

sister what about you what about the the first time that you felt burnt out what what did that feel

like um well first I want to say that

the word mitigate I don't know I think that it's

inevitable to have burnout at some point because we're continuous learning and

evolving so I think the best thing for us is to prepare for things such as burnout

um for me I think a lot of it for me

was started when I was put in the spotlight and I

felt uh I guess Unworthy of the the position that I was in I mean I know

that I'm fortunate to have a family to support me and get me

to overcome some of my fears to put me in those positions that help me overcome

my fears but to me it felt a lot like I

wasn't what do they call that uh impostor syndrome you were

autopilot yeah like but it was like imposter Sy like I couldn't understand

the hype but at the same time

uh I was in a position where I didn't it

was almost like my values didn't aligned with what position I was in so for me

the burnout happened when the things that uh I was saying

like saying yes I'm a leader yes I'm doing this yes I'm good at my job but I didn't feel those things deep inside and

so the burnout came when I wasn't uh my my outer reality was not

aligned with my inner reality and I was kind of resistant to or oblivious to

that fact and I had to really hey Paul and and I really had to go through

the experience though right like I had to mess everything up at work and I had to

fight myself mentally and I had like you really have to go through those steps to know like okay I'm I'm really doing this

to myself I I feel like burnout we do to ourselves well me personally for my

experience um and I think that like like Flo said

for some people it happens once a month for some people it happens for you know

a year consecutively it just it all depends on the person uh for me I picked

up I could picked up cookie decorating so maybe better than marijuana but

probably not because I also went through a phase where I kind of shut everyone out completely and just focused

on uh making cookies and growing um I well I think it it all depends on what

you want to do right so it's like they talk about

like addiction transfer and so y we

myself you and josea have all gone through weight loss surgery right so we've all kind of gone through we were

all addicted to food at at some point I was addicted to being big sexy

that's what I was addicted to so it it it it's all about you know

what what can you do to to take something from over here and kind of

transfer that to somewhere else and sometimes it is shutting other people out because you have to be alone in

order to figure yourself out sometimes I think up Paul my check my check there

you go check we we didn't even attempt to do the intro today Paul because no

one can do it as good as you he he he he did attempt he did

attempt well I I I will just have to watch that back I'm sure you don't don't

knock it out of the park n bro I saw a bug on the ground it was crawling by my feet and right when he was about to

start I looked at said I said there's a bug and then he [Laughter]

started so we're we're just talking about uh the the first time you know you f you felt burnt out and how we've all

been there do you have any this story about the first time you you felt burnt out at

all you know I I was sitting here listening to Crystal kind of

um chat and and talk about the time frames that it could be

um some people it's once a month some people it's it's once a year I feel like

I still uh hit that just in a different a different way um and it's it's most of

the time it's in some interval that I've like I

push myself really hard and you know then I'll find myself to like get into

this funk um and I I've got a I've got a business

coach uh therapist business therapist maybe I should call her because more than just a

coach but uh her name's Olga and um I tap straight into back with her

every single time that I get into that like it's it's odd guys because for for

most of us we perform we we we work hard we want to do the right things and then

you just find yourself in this position where you feel worthless and I can't

even describe where it comes from uh or why it's there but when it comes on um

instead of me this is me personally instead of

um you know staying in that state I want to get out of it and so I am a huge

proponent in like talking to somebody and family is is great and there's some

people that works for for me I just need a like is not a stranger anymore but

even just a stranger to like say I don't know I'm screwed up this is what's going on and I just feel like

[ __ ] and I don't even want to go to work I don't want to get up I slept 15 hours

last night and I still feel like crap I'm just tired all the time and I feel worthless fix me

please obviously it doesn't happen quite that easy but uh if we're talking about

the first time I mean probably uh would be about a two

year years after I started the company back in 99 it' been about three years we had

grown pretty crazily and then uh I Had A disruption with my partner a

disagreement not a single but a long-term disagreement and he got into a funk and wasn't coming like he just quit

coming to the off he gave up and I had to find a way through it and Banks and

you know money and all this stuff was and um

I I found that talking to people uh was was a good way but even if it's just

getting on my knees and praying um but it's a real thing and it's

something that you got to be mindful of as you're leading up that's what I think I mean Crystal do you find that like if

you're cognizant of the now I can almost feel when I'm getting close to that and

start to you you get that feeling yeah I definitely get that feeling because like

I'll get to like the middle of the week or sometimes it's at the beginning of the week where I wake up and it's like I

don't want to do what I need to do today like that work is just at the back of my

mind I want to do everything else but that just because I am burnt out I am

sick of doing the same thing for five days a week for 365 days a year like you

work 65 days a year no that's more like 320 days but

days it's a lot of days a year though I getting back I

think go ahead well I was gonna say that I think that what I see in common is

that the burnout is resistance to growth uh that's the

way I like to look at it because usually right before you're about to have like a

major breakthrough usually go through this bout of depression or burnout or

like kind of like a defeated feeling and then once you accept and acknowledge

that oh I'm in this place and I can't get up like it's just part of you that's

like okay well now you acknowledge that something is not right and then you start to then you hit like a major break

they like okay this is what we're going to do next it's it's about slowing down

and uh listening to yourself and being aware I think that's a really big one is

like you said you can feel it when it's coming when you're coming up to it it's

I think a lot of it has to do with your level of awareness because for a long time I like to say that I was sleep

sleep uh and like in the last few years is like everything is just so different

to me there's a like I'm a lot more aware of myself and so the more you know

yourself and how you work like um

mentally physically uh I think that you're you can see it coming a lot

easier well the the more you um I I used to just drown it out and when I mean

drowned it out I mean with bourbon you know and that give me to the next

day we we all have like Tony Robbins says this um but so does a a friend of

mine Ed that you know you have what type of person you are we all have six human

needs variety is one of them and how high that human need is on in each

individual is different but like variety is a need that I have and when I find

myself not being just all work no play no no family um

and doing the same thing over and over again not adding any variety to my life and this could be different for each

person but me personally I've got to get some variety going because it can be

monotonous going into the office I mean to have a successful company you got to do what are we told to do do things in a

systematic way the same way is what that means every day all day that's how you

build a successful company it's also if you're doing that very much a lack of

variety right you're using the same programs communicating in the same

effective manner with a lot of the same at least type of people and so adding

some flavor into your life or at least for me it was it was about getting away

from drowning out my uh those that feeling of the state I

was entering um and like you said being aware that I was being more aware now

and kudos to you for figuring that out at your age I mean I'm 48 I feel like I

just figured it out a couple years ago she's not much younger than you

bro don't I think we're always I think we're always figuring it out there's

once you're aware of one thing is just it'll always continue on higher and

higher yeah once you once you kind of find it then and you recognize it one

thing I had to do is just I quit drinking and then it's funny when you

take away those numbing factors when you use it the way I did um that you're

you're you're you're not aware you're numb all the time you're almost like a zombie you know like zombie yeah you're

there but you're not really there what was you going to say autopilot yes like you're living your

life behind glossed eyes you you see everything you notice stuff but you

don't feel for it you don't act upon it just don't care you just don't exist at

that time yeah just don't care it's legit out of

body speaking about body was one way you could be out of body and still gather

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out amen but it is like an out of- body experience when you're talking about

being numb for for sometimes years and

um I know that doing the same thing and doing it over and over again is one one

thing that can cause that but the other deal is do you see value in in what you're providing another thing that I've

exercised I was taught was like think about the people that you're helping when you're doing the thing that you're

doing and in flooring we are improving people's lives whether they're they

um you know it's their home or their business it adds Pride to their facilities it adds Pride to their home

they get to feel like uh you know I mean we've all been through walkthroughs

where people are like man I just you can feel it I just love this well if you focus on when I was I should I'm real

careful not to give advice because I'm no mental health expert but for myself

uh I found when I focused on on the value that I'm providing to others that it helped me get through that monotonous

and actually find Value in the the system again in the the day in day out

routine is when I was thinking about someone else I found when I'm just focusing on poor me that's when I start

sliding down in there and uh Olga's done a good job of like pointing some of that stuff out for me uh I may only talk to

her once or twice a year but it's it's always a pleasure and those are the kind of um you know relationships that if you

have within your family or within a good friend or heck hire a coach I don't it's

money well spent if you need to um you know i' I've just learned these

things these these little Lynch pin little spots in my life where I can be

it it like that I'm I'm headed back that direction you know what I mean and

um again it's when I'm being selfish is probably the the biggest culprit of it

you just said it right there that's what I was waiting to here so I'm gonna butt in I haven't said anything yet right I wanted to listen to everybody uh but so

I'm just gonna go back to the burnout Lake um I also had a drinking problem when I was younger uh in my younger days

I would say uh but the the burnout for me didn't always come from work right it

just came from situations in my life um and then me instead of dealing with it

head on just me being selfish I wanted the best outcome for myself in a lot of different different ways and so I tried

to find out what that was um so I I

would say that I tried to find Outlets you know like um uh softball was one for

a very long time I mean I played ball for a lot played baseball since started when I was 11 I didn't stopped playing

ball until last year at 40 something never never took a year off

um but the the burnout would come from people right I would get burnt out from

people it was never from work right the physical aspect was always it used to be

easy for me now it's very difficult um but that's other reasons but so the

physical aspect used to be easy and fun and I used to love being the fat guy who

was strong showing everybody that but it was the the mental portion and having to

learn how to deal with people on a day today basis when when it wasn't always

easy um it wasn't easy being the 19-year-old bossing the 30 something year olds around because I was already

better at their job than they were they were the ones that taught me and then I got better um or or the new guys that

were it was never easy doing any of that and I think that that's where my burnout come come from is that I always wanted

to do the best I could or be the best I could and prove that I was I was better

at this today than I was yesterday didn't matter what it was and I think

that's where the burnout come from for me as I put myself in a position to don't mess up you talk so much crap

about everybody else that you can't mess up man right um and I still do that but I deal with a lot of stuff I deal with a

lot of stuff through humor I like to crack jokes make fun of everything um I

that pressure we put on ourselves can be crushing y it is and

and you can only controlled your controllables and it took me a long time to realize that even though it's still

frustrating now today knowing that there's things that are controllable to other individuals

around you that you surround yourself with they did they just decide and choose not to control do I get mad upset

yeah but I try to let things go very quickly so it doesn't eat at me um I used to smoke pot I used to drink

all the time used to tell people that I smok pot I used to live to smoke and

smoke to live uh but uh you know I

just through different changes and different view views in my life different parts of my life I I I had a

different view I'm one of those people that and I think Daniel my family here can attest to it if I say I'm not doing

something anymore I quit I quit smoking and never

went back I mean I did fill it with other voids but um I also quit doing that too um and you

know I quit smoking started vaping uh Then I then you know my son was three years old picked up a ink pen top and

acted like he was vaping boom done like that day

done um well coping uh have you guys

talked about like what are the positive coping mechanisms because you got

listening to you Jose there's a couple things you got physical and mental burnout I never really had a physical a

problem with physical burnout it was always mental it's always similar in

some of the same vein as what you were just saying which is like I put a lot of pressure on myself I I always want to be

the best at what I'm doing and so I've I've got this like I can't let you the

these people down kind of syndrome and the truth is is that we add a lot of

that pressure to ourselves so how do we how do you how do you cope with it what's your guys's coping mechanism not not in a NE

not necessarily in a negative way but um we all have to deal with this so we do

and and you know I've come to realize that I love to learn right so my coping for me is I I

love to learn doesn't matter what it is I go down a lot of rabbit holes so that

way when someone that I that I care about a friend family whatever I love to learn things so that

way I can help them to any capacity and that's my coping mechanism is I try to

offer some kind of insight no matter what the subject is no matter what the problem is and if I can't then I say hey

I can't but we can learn together you know and so when you're when you're like at that level you you find that like

engaging other people and helping them is um beneficial and do these people

just come into your life at this opportune time is there and and that you know CU or do you just reach out to

somebody uh you know you're feeling like you know I don't want to I don't want to

do this anymore and then do you reach out to someone or is it just kind of opportunistically come into your life I

think uh I think everything aligns for a reason right

um I don't know maybe I put out that Vibe sometimes maybe someone's putting out a Vibe and I kind of extend

a little bit of a assistance by making a comment or saying something but I leave it at that I don't overstep my

boundaries I don't I don't impede on anybody's life I don't you know I'm not the gossip type um if you didn't hear it

from me then it you know if I didn't hear it from someone's mouth or the source or whoever's at the subject I

could care less what people are saying about someone else but um I do my best to try to make myself

available to everyone right so it's more it's more like when

you're when you're going through it than than people like in your life or somewhere um maybe close to you um maybe

comes around needing some help is that like when when I think

about one of the uh best ways to like deal with stuff is doing it yourself you

know we learn a lot of us especially as technician kind of people learn by doing

and you are doing the thing that would help you the most by giving to someone else you know what I mean um I'll put it

like this um I had a very close friend have some very some issues internally that they

were dealing with right so I did a lot of research come to find out I was also dealing with a lot of those issues so I

did more research and then it was just like I was so worried that the our

medical industry is crap the way and the systematic order they have you do things so I went and found a lot of different

uh options and information about uh uh specific prescriptions and what it could

do what it couldn't do and how the imbalance Could Happen by having too much of one not of the other um and then

I found out a lot about myself through that process and we're talking like six months of just reading and downloading

articles and reading books or listening to audio books um I want want that route

and learned for my myself because I was trying to find some answers for this

person um did it help I don't know but all I did six months of reading and

listening well did it help you I mean yeah well it helped me 100% um all of

that that information that that I kind of crammed in there all went to like a you know a half hour conversation here a

10-minute conversation there right I never try to pressure anybody or anything like that or even myself

because I'm not always the best person to talk to sometimes I'm in those moods like yeah don't care right now just let

me be yeah you can always get tacos and watch uh flooring Tik Tok videos yeah

100% what about you uh you and Daniel and Flo what are you guys I think uh you

weren't in here for the the beginning of what baby sister said when she was getting burned out but it was kind of

like being pushed into the the Limelight and not really feeling like she was um

to the capacity of what everyone thought she was right and that kind of feeling

burned out because of that and I I think everything comes full circle because you

know people are going to push you to where they feel that they think that you should be and you kind of need that push

and then where they see value where they see value you be and then when when you

start feeling that burnout is when you kind of said people will start kind of reaching out to you like hey I and do I

have some questions that I think that you could answer or I need some help with this and that that's when you kind

of look at it like hey maybe I I do have that value and that's where you kind of

kind of start putting out where yeah I I do have this information that you need maybe I I can help you out and then you

you also have to start reaching out to other people too because

it's it's not always you know I always have the answer you have to start

reaching out to people too and and being humble like no I don't always have the answer so reaching out to your network

and and because you you never know when where people are at too people can be

feeling that same way so it's like hey I'm I'm need some help with this you know do you mind helping me out you know

they could be feeling that same way that you are and they need someone reaching out at the same time

so ironically reaching out to someone for help and asking them for their expertise even when they are feeling

burned out can actually help them feel less burned out I think ding ding ding ding

ding yeah the crystal is that when you first kind of as as your brother said

throw going in kind of being pushed into the Limelight did you feel like uh because other

people seen value in you and value in what you had to offer and you've did you

feel like you weren't worthy absolutely 100% uh earlier I I

referred to it as um impostor syndrome so just not not

feeling like I am who people say that I am or not feeling

my like just not knowing who I was uh for me like it was definitely an

identity shift for me when uh when I went through my most recent bout of

burnout um just yeah I lost my train that happens

to sometimes well going through your most recent ballot of burnout I

I what was the question again I person know that um for me it's it's a lot of

the same exact thing you just said imposter syndrome when I've you

know been asked to do something or pushed out into this role uh or I put myself in the

role and I'm like what in the hell were you thinking you're just a flooring installer guy um but a lot of the time

that and this is the point I wanted to make you know when we were talking about earlier where uh the the you were saying

right when that pain is really bad it's like where the breakthroughs on the other side and that that's a common like

theme that is like I would say that is true you're very close you're right

around the corner from a break a breakthrough uh if you can just endure a

little bit longer and sometimes uh at least in my case it was persevering

through times when I wanted to quit um I mean everybody knows I I I'm the founder

of go Carrera and when I started that in 20 uh 2018 really and there's been so

many times throughout this journey that I've like who are you what are you at

you're just an you're an actor you know you're an actor well the

truth is is that because the the breakthroughs on the other side of burnout It's really

because you're going through all this to condition yourself to become the person that you have to be to accept that that

new uh that breakthrough you can't just it's it's like the it's it's why so many

lottery winners right they can't manage a hundred bucks and then they win a 100 million and they're broken three years

you know uh it's something like 80 some percent of ball lottery winners end up

absolutely broke and the stats in the NBA and NFL are very similar they they

never learn they never became who they need to become to ex to to have that

their their identity didn't match their reality and you talked about an identity crisis earlier and these things are deep

subjects sometimes we get deep on the Huddle because this is stuff we're all really dealing with in real life and I

know our audience is too so yeah I mean there's plenty of times where where you know we're at a school event or

something and you know they they come up to me and they're like man you guys are killing it and all this and then you

know and deep down inside you're just like man I am struggling so much man I

am killing myself that's what that's how you like H yeah I'm killing myself

nobody even sorry I can even relate to that today like talking to the kids they

came up to me great questions they were like so why do you do what you do he

said I said uh because this was my last option that's what I told the kids and

they're like they're like do you love with you do I said I've learned to love parts of

it but like I if I'm speaking honestly like my biggest passion is music and

writing and and I want to be a professional singing actor one day like that's the goal and I'm using the

flooring industry as a stepping stone and I want to perfect my craft in it because it is the only thing that is

pushing me forward in life that's allowing me to create something that's allowing in order to be a great singer you have to experience a lot of

depression and and and despair so you're welcome for giving you all the yeah

you're welcome no and I think about what uh what Paul was saying like everything

at at a point in your life just aligns and you start seeing all the stuff that you went through and all the times that

you thought you weren't going to make it the times that you thought you were at the bottom of your road but you have to

reach Rock Bottom to be able to rise up to the top where you want to be because Rock Bottom changes too guys right Rock

Bottom changes all the time every time you reach a new level your bottom Rises too um you know but you can always go

you can always regress further than that bottom and and and Paul you had mentioned you said something like every

time you feel you're at that point of burnout you're just right around the corner right around the corner man I

mean you see that picture on on Facebook right where they're like mining for diamonds and there's two people one one

above the other and then one is keeps on going the other guy just turns around

and he's right there and then sometimes you got to realize that you know and and that's that's where you got to have have

that mindset and it's like you do and well what is the mindset I'm gonna interrupt you the mindset what what is

the mindset that that the mindset is is like because there is times where you're

like what the hell am I doing man like why am I doing this and then that's

where these people come in and it's like you look at at yourself at at at the impostor syndrome and it's like and then

you talk to these people and it's like you know what there is people that are telling me that I'm doing a great job

maybe I am doing a great job I also think it's it's like recognizing

that that struggle is a blessing like the journey Daniel you're

like one of the most positive guys I know and recognizing that that struggle

that despair that you're in is the that you should be grateful you should know

that you're right around the corner and if you keep pushing you're going to have a breakthrough and it may be a little

one or it could be a huge I've had them multiple different ways and uh you know

Ed melette told me one time we were having a discussion he says you just need bit what you should strive for in

life is is more important problems that's what success gives you just

bigger more important problems we're none of us ever going to success our way out of problems it's just yeah you get

bigger more important ones if you if you're if your rock bottoms raising with

you I like to call them lessons we're we're all here to learn lessons and if we don't learn the lesson you

continuously repeat the lesson until you finally learn what you're supposed to

learn from that experience which is why um I feel like a lot of people stay in

lack mindsets or uh poverty mindsets because

they uh I also refer to it as like a victimization people like to victimize themselves and it's not and I'm not

saying like it's not anyone's fault this is the way we've been programmed like how we have grown up that way and so

um yeah it's all of these lessons all of the problems or struggles that we grow

through are for a purpose and we may not know it right away but later on down the

road something that Jose just randomly picked up one day that's him following

his intuition and he's going to use that knowledge maybe five to 10 years down

the road but there was a reason we learn what we learn and we do what we do so that later on down the road it's going

to serve a purpose eventually in our life as long as we use it that way we

see as purposeful yeah and you're aware

aware of it right yeah my poor my poor kids at home I I totally overload them with information ever since they they

could talk I I've never answered them in baby Babble or anything like that if they've asked me a questions I've always

explained everything to a te whether it put me in a bad spot or not and man like

giving kids the scientific explanation for everything might not be the way to go but I didn't know and yet like I

didn't I want them to know everything that I know at a way younger age than I than I did so that way that way he puts

some in a better better position and um but but at the same time sometimes they

they disagree with you and then it's like all right go learn yeah that's okay

that's okay and I talked to lencho today about that too like hey so tell them whatever they want

a good a a good lesson in this is my nie right she's lived with me for 5 years

and um this kind of goes back to what you were saying it's like you do things not

for not so people tell you that you're such a good person and all that right because people do they come up to me and

they're like oh you're such a great person for you know bringing her in and stuff it's not why I did it right it's

not why she lives with me it's because you know I had the resources come over

give you a better school district and all that but this year she didn't want to do softball and now she's regretting

it and she's like she talked to you know Jose about it and she's like why didn't he just make me do it and it's like life

lesson man like you you got to learn things and I I felt that it was time I'm

not going to make you do it because I knew you were going to regret it and I think that she's at the age right now to

where that that was going to be a great life lesson for her yeah and as adults we kind of go through the same thing

even you know where that's a great lesson for how old is she

17 okay yeah I mean that's that and even a few years younger it's a great lesson great time for that

lesson because when you're an adult you just don't have as many uh safety nets

under you right you don't have parents or uncles or aunts as much around you as

a safety net when you make a bad decision so you kind of got to just learn to live with your decisions and it

teach tees you to kind of be more thoughtful about the decisions you make and think about how

it's going to affect you in the future or affect other people in the future and uh I was just to get this right with the

six human needs that I mentioned earlier it and if you think about this some of them are counteractive and in fact I

think we should do a podcast on like contradictions like but C human need

number one is certainty number two uncertainty and variety number three and these are not in order

just in uh you know they're different for each person but significance being

significant that's one of my that's high up on mine I want to do something that matters uh connection and love growth

and contribution so that's like the six human needs

that you know people like Tony Robbins and Ed mlet talk about if you think

about all those when you're what you were talking about earlier Jose when you're helping people or even you Daniel

when you guys were talking about helping other people that's contribution and if that's high up on your list and I know

it is on yours because you guys not to call you out but you guys train other people you help other people when they

need help on projects like you want to help other people that contribution to

uh other people's lives I feel like that is the one of all of the needs needs being so selfless

that can get you out of a lot of your funk at least for me I I got to quit talking that guy no I know for that goes

along with like uh success and change in your life too because if you're surrounding yourself with the top uh I

mean the top five people that you surround yourself with is ultimately how your life's going to turn out and if you spend your entire life just helping

people and giving sewing sowing sewing never reaping never gaining never expecting to gain

then at the end of the day you're going to get everything you ever wanted yeah they say that hopefully that that the

five people that you're most around like you just said is uh your network equals your net

worth so like the people that you hang out with are who you're going to end up

acting the most alike or um and you know that's why if you've ever had a business

coach or a mentor uh that that's that's a good Mentor they'll tell you like you got to be

around people that have done what you want to do or are living the kind of

life that you want to live and that doesn't always mean money I'm not even just talking about money I'm talking about

like the the type of life that they live I got a buddy of mine he he makes good

money but he's not like a a wealthy guy one of the happiest goddamn fellas I've

ever met though like he he travels more than anyone I know uh him and his wife

go all over the dang World he's got a good job that allows him for that free

time to do it and that's what he loves to do he's one of the happiest guys I know and um I don't know where I was

going with that so I'm with you Crystal on a loss of track of the thought but

um he just had a Crystal I had a crystal moment I'm sorry

Crystal Clear Crystal moments um so right along with that is what the type

of people you surround yourself with I think that it's important to also know your values it's where your values are

going to knowing your values are going to help you uh live more intentional and

make decisions based on what you believe and how you perceive yourself I guess in

a way and so the people you surround yourself with uh should absolutely have

the values that you aspire to have um and that's continuously changing and

growing and as you learn and evolve as well um I'm about to have another

Crystal moment though because I did I'm gonna build on that the the the one of the contradictions that

always happen in my head is just what you said being around the people one one

group of thought or one train of thought will say be around like-minded people

that's the best way to live a happy life but that's also the best way to like not

grow not not have anybody pushing you or being drug in a in a uh by example of

other people so it's kind of a contradiction in my head a lot of the self-help stuff will add this dichotomy

to your brain it's all about how you feel though um is what I've learned and so sometimes

it it is about being around like-minded people but most of the time I want to be around people who are going to push me

and that can be difficult if you're um you know if you're a a workaholic like

myself you don't get around a lot of people other than your employees and then you get home to your family like

yep it's it's just and and installer installer same way you work

your butt off you're doing good you're around the same guys or the same people every day um so it's even Variety in the

people that you hang out with I think and um have having a little bit of a a a

deeper bench than just your same my biggest ruts is when I've had

the same buddies doing the same thing and we leave work go meet for a drink do

this thing and that that that rut is is hard to get out of because you you don't have anyone around

you to pull you out they want to in fact keep you there with them well that's why I say that your values change because

sometimes when we stick around people for longer than we need to it's because

our values are no longer aligned and we are looking for growth and we are looking for something different so I

think it's important to also come back to what you're valuing you know every so

often to make sure that you're still in alignment with the people that you surround yourself with because have you

had to I I'm sorry I was just going to ask I'm curious have you had to cut people out of your life that didn't no

longer fit into your your I think that they I think that they fall off um

automatically just because I feel like your Vibe the um the frequency that you

put out naturally draws draws that same frequency in or rejects that frequency

that that doesn't match like the vibe the energy we keep talking

about values right and I wrote down a couple things and that's what I do when I look down here guys I write down some things as I um you know I think when

we're we're talking about value I just want like for me my perspective of the value is going to be the you know what

kind of value do you bring to a group to your people to your family you know you got emotional informational motivational

inspirational these are values that go beyond like what financials could could bring right

um and and I think he just wrote some lyrics for you FL but um but to add on when when you

asked when you asked uh you know how do you have you had to cut people off um she's right like you got to also

remember like the value that you see within somebody else has placed a value on you whether it's friends or family

right they've bestowed that value on you once you are are no longer in that in

that category that where you are valuable to some aspect of them everybody cuts themselves off at

some point right um you know everyone's after something regardless of how nice

they are who they are everybody um well we all have feed off the energy yeah we

all have needs I feed off your energy you feed off mine and if we're aligned and whether it's energy or value um that

we see in one another when when we're aligned we're align but if it becomes

becomes a a portion where some old friends were just no longer aligned then it's no longer aligned it doesn't mean

that I don't value our friendship and our history or anything like that all it means is that hey you know what um we

are on two different paths but every time every now and then we're going to cross paths and I would love to give you a hug shake hands and continue that

conversation where we left off because now that is our value and and and I think that that goes the same for a lot

of different aspects of life is um got to take the good with all the bad

right and sometimes the good becomes very very little um and you have to understand and recognize when to walk

away so that way you can avoid that long stretch of bad yeah it's funny you say

um V you know you described value in how

people look at you because I've always looked at you know as what Crystal was saying is the

value I'm providing to a Marketplace and is there any value that that I

provide and if so then I'll I'll be rewarded in some manner

um the thinking of it the way you just posed it makes you be maybe have to be a

little bit more self-aware and not and a little less selfish too is how what is the value that other people see in you

that that you may not see in yourself and again I think that helping other

people um I know a lot of authors I'll just say this to round that thought out

that write the book because of what they're going through and the book is

even if it's a self-help book it's it's like that's their therapy is writing that book there's there's part of them

that is is helping other people and they're not quite there themselves so if you read a book 90% of the time that

person's not in some you know perfect place and giving this

authoritative uh you know Direction a lot of times it's what they've they just

went through or they're currently going through and they're documenting um I thought that was interesting I've talked

to some authors about that and then I I wrote you know not really a book I just put a journal together like best

practices of how I uh found you know success in different areas of of my

routines and um going through that was as therapeutic

as like I'm not perfect in any manner of of even executing on on what I put in

that book and encourage other people to do there's therapy and helping other people I guess is and we said that

earlier but at the end of the day there's you can help yourself a lot just by extending the hand to somebody else

yeah and you you were talking about authors and I always talk about Simon cic because he's one of my favorites and

that's what he says you know there's all these self-help books there but there's no section on help others and that's

where kind of where we we got into this um topic right and I think that's one of

the the biggest takeaways from this this episode is you know not

only you know helping yourself but one of the biggest things that you can do is help someone else and that's one of the

biggest ways that you can help yourself help someone else kind of rounds out that whole sew and reaping so

thing that FL was talking about earlier yeah and uh that one of the Facebook groups that we that I brought up before

was uh mind and body for the flooring trade and Chad Lewis you know put on

there and the only thing that he put on there is perspective and it's a a whiteboard and it says that uh someone

else is dreaming of the job you hate the home you complain about oh yeah the smile you forget to wear and the health

you take for granted don't let difficult times make you forget your blessings

y amen and the whole church said amen amen

amen that that's for real man that's that's a great way to put it someone else's dreaming of the life you have is

basically the shortest version of that like they're they're dreaming of having there's people out there dreaming to

have kids that you're like God dang it leave me alone I just want a a break damn you know what I actually have a

perfect example for that um so when my kids were a little bit younger um my

oldest son Emilio was always uh making comments about how Daniel would put his

son in travel Sports and how he couldn't do that and I actually admired that

Daniel did things like that and so I actually made it one of my goal it it made it one of my goals to get to a

place where I could do that for my kids and it's just a perfect example of seeing someone where you want to be and

instead of envying them or being upset that they're somewhere better strive to

become that like that's literally what it's about yeah and being grateful for where

you're at I think is the last part of that like yeah you you can want more and still be grateful for where you're at

and read that again Daniel I think everybody liked that all right it says uh someone else

is dreaming of the job you hate the home you complain about the smile you forget to wear and the health you take for

granted don't let difficult times make you forget your blessings man that's so good it's better

to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all right that's I mean this goes to the C your blessings thing

right you can look you can word that and and compare it to a whole bunch of different things but be grateful for

what you do have instead of be instead of envious for what you don't in research ing the um writing of the

journal I I'm uh hopefully publishing this month

um gratitude is in every single like it's like the um the core of the Earth

or the universe it's like these things that everything is yeah it's like

everything is built around that you can't you you can't get somewhere

if you're not grateful for where you're at so it also helps pull you out of those depths when you're we're talking

about burnout and we're talking about like man why am I even doing this and

this isn't just in flooring I mean I know plenty of people in plenty of

professions trades Etc that that struggle with the same thing like we all

get there but just remember someone else is dreaming of the house you live in

the life you have the health you take for granted that is a powerful thought if

you will let it sink in and the next time you're having a hard time just remember that you know your parents used

to tell you there's kids well my parents would say there's kids in Africa

kill for that food and I couldn't I can't stand PE I still can't stand peace

but you know I'd have to choke him down CU dad was like there's people that kill for that food I it never really

resonated well why peas they're the devil's uh never

mind there was time I told my mom to tell them to come get the food then and I got in trouble you know bet you did

you know that that comment that that that little uh thing that Daniel read it it reminded me just gave me a flashback

of a memory I had about hanging out and you know you hang out with some people

and I remember this the gentleman walked I mean we were we were young right teen teenagers young 20s and there was a guy in a wheelchair

and and one of the gentleman in the group that I was with walked by and was like dude I wish I had a wheelchair and

without hesitation the dude in wheelchair said I wish I could walk and then it just like stopped and I

just like like is is the is the dude that s said hey I like he I know that he didn't

mean it like that like he just wish he could roll around real quick right but he didn't think

about like the full picture but the way that that dude came back with I wish I could walk just like I think that that

seems like the uh the correct response but at the same time it would be uh uh

yep that's my [Laughter] mom it would be funny uh the opposite

direction hey man I wish I could walk he goes I wish I had a wheelchair

yeah yeah and then I mean other people aside right there's also that that saying it says five years what I I

pulled it up right here says just remember five years ago you dreamed about where you are

now that's not true not for me well but I the other thing is a lot

of our dreams and we're all guilty of this but a lot of our dreams we they are

just that dreams and we've never turned them into goals and the one thing that

we can't argue is you are sitting where you're at right now in life with your

circumstances benefits and everything as a direct result of all the

decisions you've made it's just a culmination of all the decisions you've made and when you look at it like that

you'll find these spots in your life where like you wanted to blame someone else but if you dig down you'll find

where you could have changed it it's one of the things that's probably the most exhausting to my employees and my kids

is I'm like well what could you have done different well I didn't estimate the job or I didn't do this or what no

no no no where could you have made the situation better what could you have

done what's in your control that you could have done to improve the situation

well not even that it's on the flip side like if you would have changed it where have you where would you be now like if

you would have changed something before you wouldn't have your son right now that's you wouldn't have your girl right

now that's if I would have changed something before if I would have followed on the career path that I wanted to I wouldn't be where I'm at now

we wouldn't be talking now so you know every everything happens yeah you're at now because of

the choices that you made yeah I think it's dangerous to start thinking like if I'd have done that I'd be here you know

what I mean like there there's so much it goes back to gratitude I'm sure you're very grateful

for your son or do is it a son or a daughter his son yeah his son okay so

yeah he look so squishy one little difference in your life and he may not exist same with mine got right before

right before I met his mother I was due to deploy to quate for a year and a half

and they didn't send me because of my back cuz it was wet

yep W my bad my bad no um I was gonna say

something uh it was when uh Paul was talking about just like the decisions you make in your life and how that

ultimately like affects the way that your life turns out but at the same time it's not the decisions that you make

it's the actions you choose to take partake in like you know what I mean like well yeah the the the actions are a

decision that's the point is that if if you don't decide to act on something

then it's just a dream you know if you decide to act you've then turned it in started to turn it into a

goal that's funny you say that because I just started making like a um a flowchart of how to make goals and a

flowchart yeah um and it's it's something that I'm working on to present to the guys at work because if you're

just going through life going through the motions without any goals like you you come to a place where it's like [ __ ]

I like I could I need to do something I need to change something to better my

circumstances or else this is where I'm going to be forever and that's when the burnout starts and the and the

resentment and all of those things and then I mean on the flip side

of that there are going to be guys that don't want to change and they're going to push back and see but they're also

here to show us something they're here to show us what it's like if you don't

choose to change well that's where the best lessons come from failure right that's

that's where that comes from if you watch people fail or you fail yourself those are some of the best lessons um

and I want I want to add to that whole dream thing you know we all dream of of something when we're a kid right and we

let go of those things because reality kicks Us in the ass and we have to

accept a Direction but it doesn't mean that the dream has to stop a dream a

dream without action it will eventually become your nightmare so don't don't just let it all go let it let it let it

play out do something towards that toward that that goal that dream let it flow let it flow there's a reason that

you have that Vision at such a young age yeah and those th those um those

dreams turn into nightmares as you said is because you're not doing what you got

this inner feeling that you're supposed to be doing a lot of um you know a lot

of my most guilty guilty moments are when I'm not doing the thing that I'm

the the stuff I know I'm supposed to be doing you know if I don't journal for two weeks in a row and I I do often fall

into that um I get as much guilt as I do like um

uh uneasy because I haven't done it and it doesn't matter if you do it in the morning or in

the evening whatever just the the truth is is if you look at all why do we know what Thomas Jefferson

or or Albert Einstein said not just because they said it and it got recorded

because they weren't recorded every moment it's because they wrote everything down they left a a legacy and

one thing that I've and I'm I'm an advocate for journaling for people is because it's you're

telling yourself you're worth leaving this past you existing we're all

going to die someday and my grandkids or my great grandkids might read some of

this stuff and say grandpa was kind of stupid or was really smart whichever one

but you're you're telling yourself that you're worthy of your your thoughts and your you being down on paper being left

uh for the future sorry if that got too deep but

it's it's uh it's kind of the I the psychological idea behind

journaling and it's something that you can look back on to see how much you've grown in the last year has yeah there's

practical application to it for sure gotta say your goals out loud when

you do that they tend to come true don't just put them on paper but speak them in reality

I love that be careful what you say because when you don't do it that's when you get attacked

[Laughter] amen th this is true uh that saying it

out loud and I don't want to get all ooly oo I love wo this is where I

thought this whole conversation was gonna go with baby sister to be honest with you the frequency you talk about the

these are true things and that's why God you know you're encouraged to speak it out loud is because what is what do you

hear when I speak You're just hearing a frequency coming out of my mouth wavesound Wes three times you perceive

it in your own in your own way everyone is perceiving it differently yeah and when you speak it aloud uh there is

something to be said for that so I uh I'm glad you brought that up

yeah because that's that was the whole that's kind of the whole um thing with the impostor syndrome you're saying one

thing but your your actions are not aligning with that and that's why you

you you start to attack yourself in a sense because you're not being authentic

you're not being true to who you say you are so once your values start to align

with the things that you're actually saying you're able to live more in the flow of life more in in the flow of Life

connect you're more connected to the the natural frequency of Earth

yeah and Flo looks like he just had an epiphany oh we do that all the time I think he I think he just realized he

forgot to put his clothes in the dryer

no oh my goodness I'm sorry Beetle Juice Beetle Juice Beetle Juice well guys we

have uh we're about 4:15 here um I came

in late so I don't I don't get to say that uh that I I know all of what was

said before come on I got to say that this is I love this stuff because it's

it's been a journey for me in my entire life I you

know didn't grow up the best and blah blah blah and I always dreamed of a better life and I am living what I

dreamed and now that should remind me in a lot of ways when I'm starting to get

um down on myself when I see a 30 m 30-year-old you know that's knocking out

of the park in his business bus and I'm over here like shoving the cart up the

up the hill still with go Carrera and um that yeah but life at one point that's

that's a crazy thought and that 30-year-old who who's uh who's who's kicking ass right you don't understand

how many Paul Stewarts he had talking to him through his life at a younger age right we don't know his journey or their

Journey his hers whatever we don't know that either and and that's where I never

try to be envious of anybody I I've always tried not to be right but you're human everybody's human it happens it

comes in naturally and then if you can be aware and then correct it yeah

integrate it you can kind of like okay what is he doing that and and maybe take

the Envy out and turn it into action often that's the first kind of like thing when you're in and it's

usually when for me anyway when I'm in a kind of a a a not the best state anyway

and then I see that and you just you know how when you that's why they call it the Snowball Effect you know it just

gets worse and worse as you if you let yourself go down the hill uh if you're not aware before you know it you will be

uh a rock bottom and I can say one thing I would like to say anyway is that you

don't have to hit rock bottom to change that's one thing I I've learned in my

life like if you just see yourself headed in the wrong Direction you there

life always has all these multiple paths in front of you jump off that ladder you

can choose which path you go on and you can also see far enough in the future to

know whether you're on the right path or not the path that going to lead you to where you want to be uh so it's

sometimes you just got to be willing to Pivot a little bit you know um it's it's

uh or or have those people around you that are going to push you into the into that path right go go um I will I will

say say this somebody I was I was dating a girl this is a very long time ago I was dating someone and I went and hung

out with a in a crowd that I probably wouldn't be hanging out in right you know and and let's just say

that there was a lot of wealth around and and we'll just say it that way because I I didn't take it for what he

said as wealth as in dollars and cents is he he asked me a question and uh he

said uh you know do you know why poor people are poor and I said I don't know

because they don't have any money he said uh yes to some aspect but it's

because they make it's because they make poor decisions right and I didn't take that as a financial um advice I took

that as um you know because wealth is is described as many different things I

took that as life advice right like if you want something out of life no matter what it is what decisions are you making

right now that could eventually lead up to it now are you making the right decisions or you making poor decisions

that are going to derail you um and long ago I made the choice to I gotta work my

ass off if I stop then my my progression

stops right and that's that's the what I had to make a choice and well at the

same time you have people who are working their ass off and still never getting anywhere this is true

right well 100% but are they like you

know you can really work your tail off but if you can run as hard as you can

down the wrong path and that it's really like yes you working your having a plan

like like you said I floring is sustaining my life I'm

good at it while I'm pursuing this other career if you're not taking those steps

in that path to be a a performer then you can run in the wrong direction and

still feel like you're working your tell off but it's because you're working your tell off going the wrong direction so

being being aware that life has always has off ramps it's like a highway

there's always another offramp to go a different direction and um you just have

to be cognizant am I on the right path and that's where goals come in and that's where like you know even if you

miss them most Americans don't set goals because of the fear of letting yourself

down or letting others like you you you you're encouraged to set these big goals

but then you know that the likelihood of hitting them is going to be tough um and

maybe uh not real likely but so you set these big goals but it's not about

achieving them it's about the Journey of going towards it and um learning those

lessons on the path that's for me I keep talking like I'm but that's that's where

I've learned and and you said it correct earlier right when it's like the authors just write

about what they're going through and that's kind of what we talk about on here too it's just what we're going through and what we see and that that

that's what we're seeing and like the the the goal for all of us is to to see

the the industry be better than when we came into it and that that's just our

goal and that's what we're pushing for my goal is to see the world be better go

bigger you know what and and my my whole selfish goal out of everything that I do and everything I try to do is that one

day uh my kids be proud that's my selfish

goal yeah that's that's um not really selfish if you're

thinking about your children and about you know them being proud of you um I

think that's inherent to Parenting like you want your children to be proud of you uh you want to know you were you you

did some things better than your parents um so Kudos on all of that for sure I

played softball better than my mother yeah bro I'm throw the way I like

to look at it as um how do I perceive myself Through The

Eyes of someone else like how are my kids going to perceive me um and I just

strive to to I guess go back to when I was a kid what did I want to see from uh

my parent or how did I want to grow um and I just try to stick to what I feel

is right even if and I say that no well I was going to say that earlier that a

lot of a lot of um things that we've been talking about I feel like a lot of it

has to do with the feelings like your intuition your gut feeling like if you're on the right path you're not you

can't logically think about that you have it's like um a feeling you get or an inner knowing like yeah this not this

don't feel good you're probably on the wrong path if it does feel good you're probably in alignment with the path

you're supposed to be on I guess that's the most simple way to put it yeah intuition is important in all this

but I uh I would be you know how all this ties back into

um burnout I actually gotta go

burnout wrapping it up right now burnout in um in your career

is about I think being grateful aware this just my take and we'll go around

and then we can close this thing out but being grateful and aware and uh those

are two big changes um and if you guys like the podcast man please give us a

like And subscribe I this kind of thing I've learned from here so I can't um I

can't you know you can't participate in this kind of I feel like an author right

now from the standpoint of what I'm talking about and what we're talking about in this conversation there's been

some nuggets and some epiphanies of my own so if you do like the stuff we're

not always um you know in the mindset thing but we do deal with that a lot because it's it's an important part of

having a happy life so I want to thank you guys for all coming on here and kind of sharing it's it's um refreshing and

and I've learned some stuff here so thank thank you every and thanks always

refreshing to keep it real man and that and that's that's uh yeah when hnet keep it 100 would you

T but you guys should hang around my family man like we are like special

we're fun to be around special special Crystal closing uh

statement um this is like my absolute favorite

stuff to talk about because I love learning uh different perspectives uh

and hearing the things that people have to go through all the time and I think

that the mindset and your self-awareness is is like a key factor

in growth and uh and like you said gratitude gratitude is the center of

everything and you really have to break down everything that you

thought you knew in order to be grateful for everything that you do have um and that's when your life will start to

change amen you guys got any last uh last words

before we close this out um I mean it's just uh this is what

I wanted to say you need to fall in love with the process of becoming great because if you're fixated on the outcome

and just what you want in life you're not making the decisions and taking the necessary precautions to get yourself

there and if you're okay with being in the dirt success is dirty success is

hard success is almost unable almost

unattainable hard to get there go to the just focus up grind it out and win in

the dark I love it that's his next song Grind it out winning no my next

song is give or tape that's what it is nice look for it on Apple

music we're getting there we're not there yet we're getting there no Danel

just be aware man and uh always know that when when you're feeling down someone else is like that too so

definitely reach out and and know that if if you're feeling like that someone

else is reach out talk to someone and um be that

ear and lend that voice amen Jose final thoughts yeah just

um just be okay failing failure failure is just is just

a the hardest and most efficient way to learn and then just take that onto the

next one you'll find your path eventually fail forward yeah what what did I say I said uh

um fail out loud succeed in silence failure is a necessary

tool love it all right everybody I don't want to fail my son so I gotta get out of here all right guys well thanks

everybody for joining us uh today we went over subject sometimes but uh it's been a

pleasure it doesn't feel like an hour and a half to me uh maybe because uh it wasn't I shut up lat well thanks

everybody we'll see you guys next week and uh thanks for everybody joining us Flo and Crystal and thanks to Daniel and

Jose thanks for joining us guys appreciate you guys love the audience keep coming back give us a like And

subscribe guys we'll talk to you later next time peace out okay bye